Friday, October 3, 2008

Tired

It's been a long day. When I got to work this morning I was told that my friend Juanita had a heart attack this morning. Juanita is the secretary at our church and she makes working in the office an absolute delight. I was stunned. I went in with the rest of the office staff to spend some time in prayer. We were given a few more details and I found myself unable to speak. Within an hour of that I received the news that my friend had gone Home. She is rejoicing with angels and experiencing joy that I can't even fathom. I thank God for her life and for the ways she touched mine. And I'm sad.

As I was leaving the office I began praying in the car. All I could say is that I'm tired. I'm tired of loss. I'm tired of cancer and lung disease and hurricanes. I'm tired of migraines and autism. I'm tired of hospitals and medical bills and broken relationships. I felt myself almost ranting at my Father that I am just TIRED of this life! And then I felt His gentle quiet voice remind me that "this life" isn't what it's about. It's not about the pain and the frustration or the sadness and heartache. What it is about is remembering WHO it's about. Not me.

Father, I am so mixed up before you today. I am truly joyful that your servant Juanita is home with you. But I am sad that I will not see her perky smiling face at the office next week. I am sad for her family and I pray that we can extend your love to each of them as they deal with this loss. Help me remember that each of us who loves you will one day spend eternity with you. We will sing with angels and give you the glory that our human minds and voices cannot truly express. I love you Lord, and though I SO don't understand why there is so much pain here, I know you love us and that is what I hold on to. May your peace and love be felt by everyone that is missing their friend today. Amen.

4 comments:

daddyO and honey said...

i'm so sorry, sarah. we can't believe it either. we are praying for the A&M church, there have been several things since we left in July, we are so sorry.

debralynne said...

Sarah....so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult this is on you. We'll be praying for you and your church family.

Love you!

Me said...

Oh Sarah, I am so sorry to hear of the loss the A&M church is suffering. I know that, without even having met Juanita, she was another family member at the church because that is always the way the church has been. My thoughts and prayers are with them (and with you).

Marlin said...

Hey Friend . . . my heart hurts for you. I had no idea the other day when I called, that you were going through this. I love you! Rest in Daddy God's lap and let Him comfort you.