Thursday, December 6, 2007

Quick Update

Just wanted to post a quick update. Things are going well. Physically I'm staying in a 3lb range. I guess this is my first big plateau (sp?). I am feeling pretty good. Still having migraines. I'm working a plan to make them better though. I don't have much choice. In the last half of the year I've maxed out my prescription coverage on Imitrex alone so I MUST find a solution. That stuff is expensive! Right nowmy plan is to focus on making good food choices through the holidays and then add exercise back in come January.

Lots going on with Tripp. It's a big month in that area. Hop over to Monkey Dance if you'd like more details.

I have been heeding God's constant nudging to write and teach. I taught our Ladies' Class yesterday and confessed out loud to all those in attendance that I feel God's call to write and teach though I'm not sure what to do with it. My lesson was well received I think. I got lots of encouragement and was reminded that even though I don't yet consider myself a writer, anyone who keeps three blogs is writing! I was also asked to do a lesson for our Sanctuary class sometime after Christmas. I said yes - though the thought of standing in front of all those ladies with a mic on is seriously intimidating! I know God is going to be there though, and with Him by my side I can do anything!

I'll try to post again soon. I want to write up the thoughts I shared with Ladies' Class so maybe I'll get that posted in the next week or so. Hope everyone out there in blogland is getting ready for a great Christmas, and that you remember exactly why it is that this is such a joyous time of year. We are, afterall, celebrating the birth of our salvation! Blessings to all of you!!

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Knock, Knock

Who's there? It's God, and I'm back to push you some more.

The last few weeks have been rough. We had all the sickness in the kids and then I got Tripp's cold and still haven't quite shaken it. My eating has been better. Still no exercise and I stunk it up when it came to quiet time and reading this week.

I don't remember if I've specifically blogged about this before, so I'll just put it out there. I've felt God calling me to write for quite some time. It started a couple of years ago in my kitchen on a day I will never forget. That's a story for another time though. Bottom line was that He pretty much told me to write and I said "Sure, we'll do that one day." It rolled through my head every so often, but it was not something I had been giving any real thought in a long time. Several months ago God came knocking and re-stated this call. I say call because that's what it feels like. He's calling me to do this. I've been wrestling (or wrastlin' if you're from Texas) with it quite a bit. But, I confessed it out loud to some people in my life and they are keeping me accountable and helping along.

Well, Saturday I was thinking, "Gee, I haven't really thought about this whole writing thing in a few weeks and it seems like all those things that kept happening to keep it in my face have stopped. I guess God backed off." Don't ever think God backs off folks. Before that night was over a precious friend who I love and respect looked me square in the eyes and said,"You are preparing to write a book." Then this morning we went to class at my folks' church and the text took me right back to James where God has had me non-stop since September. I made a few comments in class and after one of them the teacher (who is the preacher there) said,"Good sermon. I'll just hand you the mic in a few minutes." We all laughed, but my sweet husband gave me that knowing look and then prompted me later to write the thoughts I voiced down in the little notebook I now carry all the time.

So, apparently it's time for me to only renew my remodeling efforts, I need to take inventory and renew my commtiment to be obedient. I need to be obedient in the small things and the big things. Even when they don't make sense. Even when I can't accomplish them with my own abilities. Even when I DON'T WANT TO. Pray for me this week that I will be obedient. I'll pray that for you to - that you are listening to His voice and answering His requests with a resounding "YES!"

Monday, November 5, 2007

Time for Renewal

OK folks. It's been a hard 8 weeks, but I'm coming through the other side and ready to renew the purpose of this blog. I have somehow managed to loose a few more pounds in the midst of the chaos. I'm down 31 pounds and very happy about it. I do, however, need to refocus my eating strategy. It's gotten pretty lax as of late. Most particularly with the DP - devil juice I tell you! So, starting right now I'm back to my sparkling water. I also vow to stop sneaking a piece of candy out of the kids' halloween stash everyday. I know it won't take too many of those days until the scale goes the other way so it stops now.

As far as exercise goes - not commitment from me yet. My plan is to start walking 3 days a week and do some resistance with my rubber tubing 2 days a week. I think that the jogging was too much for me at this point and contributed to the fatigues and headaches so I'm not going to take that back on until I feel more in control of my health. I'm still fighting off one heck of a cold so I'm not sure when I will add this component back in. I'll keep you posted though.

My quiet times have fallen by the wayside as of late. This MUST get fixed. I'm still working my way through the study of James for LBC. It's been kind of hit or miss as far as how much I get done each week. My book club is reading a new book and meeting again on 12/3. I just started the book and intend to finish it in time. I didn't finish last month's book. I was, um, distracted to say the least.

Oh, and if youwould like to follow along the journey we are taking with Tripp, please at Monkey Dance to your list of blogs you check. I love you all and am grateful for all the encouragement you've been giving me. I'll check in again soon.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My Current Truth: Part 3 - God's Glorious Light

First, let me apologize for taking so long to get this posted. I know that many of you have been watching my blog and most likely worrying about me. Thanks you for your thoughts and prayers - it is precisely because of them that I can write this post!

God is good.

In the midst of fight ing the darkness and accepting my current truth, He has continually dropped things into my life reminding me of His presence, His plan, and His love. He is the light in every aspect of my life. Today I want to share with you some of the many things He has put in my life to help shine light on my path as I continue in this journey.

The people - oh the amazing people God has blessed me with. To name a few, my mom, Kara Dennis, Stephanie, Irene, Janice G., Erika, Lara, Ashley, Jenn, my amazing husband, my dad, my nana, Kathy C., Pam Mann, Paula, and the list goes on and on and on. To give you a little more detail on how God is shining His light in my life I want to tell you about 2 of these people in particular - Kathy & Irene.

Irene and I became friends several years ago when we found ourselves working in the nursery together. I actually took her job while she was on maternity leave, and when she came back we got paired up working early service together. She then started working with my for Ladies' Class and took my spot when I was on maternity leave. Irene is precious. She's a friend that I can call and say, "I need you to pray about something for me," nand know that she will. One of Irene's sons has Autism. They often sat behind us or near us during church and when I would hear her son it always made me smile because I new my friend - who I came to know is an AMAZING mom - was nearby. I always admired Irene and her husband for how well they seemed to handle life and it's many circumstances. Needless to say, when I began having concerns about Tripper I called Irene. Isn't God amazing? Irene and I became friends when Tripp was an infant. Lots of peopel didn't even realize we knew each other because outside of the nursery we weren't really in the same circles of people. But God not only knew we were friends, He planned it that way. Irene is a brilliant shinning ray of God's light in my life!

Kathy and I have known each other for a number of years as well. In all honesty, other than hellos at church and the very rare occaision to chat a minute or two we really had never had a conversation until the last 3 months. Kathy was always someone I wanted to know. She just seemed to me to be so very real, and quite funny to boot! I had her middle daughter in B class a few years ago. This summer I was doing some chidlcare for our pre-school board meeting (Kathy is one the board) and I had her kiddos. During the course of that day Kathy told me that her oldest had been diagnosed with Autism. This was about the same time I was really starting to think that might be what Tripp is dealing with. Then a few weeks later I found out that she and Paula (another name on that list up there) were needing someone to watch two of their kids during the fall semester. I took the job. Did I mention that Kathy uses the same pediatrician we do? I ran into her last fall in the doctor's office while we were in the process of Vivian's millionth (well, not quite) ear infection and found out that they had been through it too - and that they used the same ENT we were using. Fast forward a few months and you'll find me realizing that we have to take our son to Temple. And moments later realizing that Kathy and her family have been down this road - in truth are going down this road only a few steps ahead of us with their second daughter. I told Kathy that we were going to Temple before I even knew for sure that was what would be happening. She is now someone I see almost everyday. And every time I see her I get a hug - and it makes the day better. I know I can cry or laugh or talk or pray and Kathy will listen and join in. God takes everyone on a journey - Kathy's and mine just happen to be along similar paths right now and I am so very grateful that God sent her to help light the way.

Now, how else is God's light shinning? Can we say music? Music has always been soemthing that impacts me strongly. God is using that to send me messages almost daily now.

Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord, stil I will say....Blessed be the name of the Lord, blessed be your name

Many other songs are touching me these days. I'm horrible at knowing who sings what, so I won't try. What I will say is that every time I get in the car I hear something on KSBJ that remind me that he has it under control and he will give me everything I need. I would also like to tell you how God used Mark Shultz.

I went to the Women of Faith conference a few weeks back. Friday night we're all sitting there enjoying ourselves and the host for the night starts introducing a surprise guest. Mark Schultz is there to sing for us all. I thought to myself "I know that name - I think I like his songs." and I clap witht he rest of the arena. My friend Kara was next to me and she was about to come unglued she was so excited. So, I'm listening and enjoying everything and Mark Schultz begins to tell a story. As I listen I realize that he's about to sing a song that has been haunting me for weeks. The song is titles "He's My Son." It's a daddy praying that God will make his son healthy, that God will never leave him, that his wife can have some peace, that he would take his son's place if he could. It is a gut wrenching song - the chorus ends with "See, he's not just anyone, he's my son." He's my son. I've fought back the tears many times listening to this song. As he finishes the set up for it (it was written about a young boy that had cancer) something in me comes unhinged. I began to sob. I leaned over into my mother's open arms and cried and cried and cried. She held me and loved me and let me hurt because she knew it was the first time I'd let myself really let any of it out. I'm told that everyone in our group was brought to tears - I wouldn't know. Al I know is that as Mark Schultz sang that song I wept. And then this amazing thing happened. As the song ended and I struggled to gain my composure Mark says that his favorite thing about that song is singing it knowing that the little boy is now 23 years old and cancer free!!!! Light. God's glorious light of hope and reassurance was so bright that I cried out in joy.

God's light has brightened my days in many other ways, from the love and prayers of all of you to the fact that he created the banana (the only whole food that everyone in my house will eat and enjoy!). God's love shines brightly everywhere I look. I do have to give one more shout out to a friend before I stop writing. My friend Lara recommend a natural supplement that she has used to help her combat depression. We've talked many times about that struggle that we share and I knew that she wouldn't recommend something to me that didn't actually help her. I've been taking it (5-htp) for almost a week know and I can honestly say that I feel better. I don't feel medicated, I still cry, I'm sleeping better. More than any of those physical things though, I feel like I'm better able to see the good things in my life. Sometime we get so clouded with the noise in our head that we need some help calming it down enough to hear God.

I don't know where this journey is leading. What I do know is that God is the one I'm following. The path my not be easy. I may fall. Scratch that, I will fall. There will be times I can't see where to put my next step. There will be tims I feel all alone. There will be dark times. THere will also be places where the path is smooth enough to skip with joy. There will time of great fellowship. And as I continue on this journey it is my fervent prayer that I can in some way help light the path for others.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

My Current Truth: Part 2 - Fighting the Darkness

So, as I'm sure you can guess from Part 1 of this little series, I've been a little stressed out. Add to my concerns about Tripp the fact that Paris started the Big K, I started my new job at church, T&V both started Sonshine School and what you have is, well a lot of change and a lot of stress. I thought I was doing OK with all of it and then the last month hit.

Let me backtrack just a bit...over the last 6 months or so I've had a significant increase in migraine headaches. After experiencing the worst one of my life I decided I had to get some help and that it made no sense to just endure 1-3 of those things a week when there is help out there. I was hesitant though, because I didn't want to just get put on some kind of preventative medication. I wanted the cause to get fixed. I'm not at all interested in being told I need to put some synthetic chemical into my body every day for a potentially endless period of time. I went to my doctor - she's an internal medicine doc - and she said she wanted to do some blood work and a brainscan (CT) before we starte dany course of treatment. OK. It took 2 weeks to get all that done and the results in. One of the things she tested was my thyroid (more on this in a bit). Results: sinus drainage. Are you kidding me?!?!

In the three weeks or so since I made that original appointment I begin talking with my mom and several friends. Bottom line is, I'm concerned about my health - physical and mental. I've been down a lot. Scary down. Sit on the couch and let the kids watch TV and eat snacks for dinner because I don't have it in me to do anything else down. It hasn't been constant, but I've been down more than I've been up as of late. There are a host of other things going on that don't make sense to me. My hair is falling out. I'm holy cow tired. I've had a couple of dizzy spells. My tummy hasn't been my friend much lately. Concentration on anything is competely out of the question. So, after speaking with those mentioned above, I went back to the doctor on Friday ready to get some answers or a referral or something.


I was told that my symtpoms are just stress. Really. I was told that my thyroid is "good and normal." I'm not sure I beleive that. the TSH test results have a "normal range" of .4-4. Mine was a .6. Does that seem like it's in low range of normal to anyone but me? Doc insisted that my thyroid is fine. She said most of symptoms are those associated with stress and indicate depression. She would be happy to give me some pills, but understands if I'm not ready to do that at this point. In the meantime I am to finish my antibotics to clear the sinus infection. Turns out the the "drainage' the nurse reported to me was actually a completely occluded right sinus cavity. When I'm done with the meds they will do another scan to be sure it's clear and then we will go from there.

I was not happy with all of this, but felt like there wasn't much I could do. I didn't want to start on some anti-depressant because I felt better this week - and I don't like medicine - and surely, surely I'm not there again. I've been through a major depression before. I can't possibly be on that path again, can I? This simply must stop. I can not put my family through THAT.

Well, Friday I had a nice, honest talk with my mom over lunch and was assured that getting some medicinal help is by no means a representaion of failure. That it's possible that even though my modd was better this week, my body is manifesting all my stress with this myriad of issues. I love my mom. She is aways patient, and she waits until she thinks I'm ready to hear something before she says it. And no matter how much what she says may rock my world, I always know her heart is beating right along side mine on this journey and that her love for me will never change. She's taught me a lot about showing God's love.

Since I'm writing my current truth I must admit that my mood has tanked today. It has a lot to do with the fact that my husband got assigned a project in Midland. I dropped him at the airport on my way to church tonight. He'll be back Wednesday afternoon. Our first parent-teacher conference is tomorrow. Easy says I can call him and put him on speaker for the conference. I know he's trying, but that is so not the same as him being there. Plus that means 3 nights of stinky sleep (I don't sleep well at all when he isn't here), and three days of it being all me when it comes to the care of our children. I tried hard not make him feel bad for doing his job, but it was all I could do to keep from balling at the airport. It doesn't take much for me to burst into tears these days. (hey, that's another hallmark of depression.)

So here I sit, fighting the darkness. I would honestly love nothing more than to tuck in all my children, turn out the lights and watch junky TV. Then I'd like to sleep for a very long time and tomorrow I would like to just be alone. But that's not going to happen. Instead I will get up in the morning after not enough restful sleep and try my absolute hardest to be a good mom. To love my kids the way they deserve to be loved. To not let them sense that Mommy would really rather go crawl in a hole. To feed them, and play with them, and maybe even teach them a few things. To pray with them. To know how to answer Paris when she asks why something is different for Tripp than her (like why I bought him a bunch of calculators and her only one). To know what the best course of action is to getting my son the best possible help. And I'll try to be a good wife and not fall apart when Easy calls to check in. I'll tell the kids about how hard Daddy is working so he can take care of all of us. I'll choke back the tears so their precious little hearts don't have to feel my pain. And when the day is done I will crawl on to the couch and cry as quietly as I can so they won't hear. I'll cry and pray and beg God to make me better. To make my son better. To give me the strength to fight off the darkness that seems to close in when I least expect it. And then I'll wake up, lean on Him and try again to be the best I can be for a day.

Monday, October 8, 2007

My Current Truth: Part 1 - Tripp

It's been weeks since I posted. They've been hard weeks. It's time to get honest. I started this blog to help hold myself accountable and perhaps help some people along the way. I can't do either of those if I'm not being honest. So, take a little journey with me if you will. It may take a week for me to get it all posted - probably in three parts. Have patience as you read, and please, if you feel the urge to pray for me and my family - do it. Were it not for the prayers of friends and family and the amazing grace of God I'm not sure how we (or at least I) would have made it thus far without my sanity coming into question. So here we go.........Part 1 of My Current Truth: Tripp

I'm not sure whether to start at the current spot and then give history or bring you on my journey from January to present. I guess since many of you already know where we are I'll choose the first option.

About a month ago Tripp's speach therapist (Ginger) finally said that she thought it would be best to have him referred for evaluation by Scott & White's Austim Team in Temple. So, there's the hardest part. Autism. I can say it out loud without choking most of the time now. We don't have an actual diagnosis at this point and we can't get in to see the team until December 17th. But, I think you'll see as I share what got us to this point that it really doesn't matter what the team says - we've had to accept that our precious, brilliant, loving, number-obssessed boy just doesn't process the world the same way we do. Here's how we got to today........

Tripp has always been "laid back" about most things. His physical growth has always been normal (though he's a bit on the skinny side!). In truth, he was a breath of fresh air after Paris. Don't get me wrong, Paris is phenomenal from head to toe, heart and soul - but she was (is), shall we say, a bit more high maintenance than Tripp was as a baby and toddler. We often laughed and joked about how anal-retentive he seemed to be as he got older. He always lined up whatever toys he was playing with....perfectly straight. The cars would all be facing the right way and if he realized you had turned one around he would simply correct the error. He's always flapped his hands when he gets really excited and happy. He's always spent more time on his toes than his feet. All cute things that seemed to make Tripp the most adorable boy ever - and he is the most adorable boy ever!

Well, about a year ago Tripp started going to Sonshine school one day a week. He really didn't speak when school started. Once he got settled he seemed to really start blossoming. By the end of the first semester I remember thinking - finally, he's talking! He was a little over two then. The truth is, however, that he counted more than he talked. He acquired a few words like juice and please, but for the most part he just new his numbers and would count anything he could - he even counted when there was nothing to count. I decided to put him in for two days the next semester since he seemed to do so well and was at least using his voice for something other than the whiny-cry or grunt we had become accustomed to interpretting. We also started potty training over Christmas break - we're still working on that by the way.

Once school started back in January I started to put some things together in my brain (remember, I have a psych degree), and I was a little unsure about what the picture was turning out to be. The counting increased quite a bit. Tripper truly has a gift with numbers. I realized though that he was using numbers to self soothe. Then the poop smearing started. We went through several months where every so often Tripp would poop during "rest time" and paint his room with it. This is when I started to loose it I think. I did everything I knew to stop this behavior. I even spanked him - it didn't seem to register and the look of pain on his face was pure torture. After one such experience I found myself laying in his bed with him, trying to calm his tears and wails and I just started crying with him. I remember saying along the way to both my mom and my friend Dasha that I was afraid I was going to screw him up. That allowing him to obssess over numbers combined with my reactions of extreme frustration over the potty training challenges was going to really just screw him up.

In late spring I decided to take him in to the pediatrician. He had been having a lot of snot off and on since like October. I thought he had allergies, but I was tired of wiping his nose non-stop so we went to the doctor. He had a sinus infection - bad mommy, he'd probably had it for 3 or more months by the time I took him to the doctor. To my credit, he never ran a fever and the snot would come and go so I didn't think too much of it. Anyway, at the encouragement of my mom I decided to talk to the pediatrician about my concerns when it came to his speech development and behavior. What I told the pedi was essentially this:

He plays with his poop. He tippy toes. He counts things endlessly. He lines things up precisely. He has a very short list of people he will make eye contact with or allow to interact with him. He knows numbers, letter, shapes, colors - but he can't have anything resembling a conversation. I haven't cut his nails in over a year because he chews on them. I know that any of these things by itself is nothing to be concerned about, but when I put it all together I'm conerned. What do you think?

He said, "I assume your conerned about Autism Spectrum Disorder?"

Me: Well, yes. I just don't want to over react, but I don't want to dismiss things either. Maybe my degree is just making my paranoid.

He said,"Well, it probably is making you a little more sensitive to what seem like red flags to you. You know, we really can't tell about Autism much until kids start school and we really get to see them along side other kids their age. I think we should just keep an eye on things and see how it goes."

I should really not use quotations there - that's from my memory, so I'm sure it's not EXACTLY what he said. And just in case youaren't sure about my thoughts on his opinion - I think it's a bunch of poo.

Me: OK. Well, what about his speech? Do you think he's on target for his age?

At this point I began to sense that he was slightly tired of our conversation and he said that we could "go ahead and do a referral to speech if it would make me feel better." At least it made me feel like I was doing something so I jumped on it.

I think that's when reality started to settle in for me. Our first session with Ginger was wonderful. She listened to everything I needed to say. More importantly, she watched Tripp. She interacted (or at least tried to) with Tripp. She didn't just chat with me while he milled about. Instead she focused on him while I answered her questions as best as I could. By the end of the session she was telling me that when we were ready she could refer him to see the Autism team in Temple. No business about him being too young - just an offer to help when the time came.

We've been seeing Ginger for several months now. About two and a half months ago as she was working with him during our normal time with her and she asked if we wanted to go see the team or if we felt good about the progress we were making. I wasn't ready and I hadn't really talked much with Easy about it so I told her I wanted to stick to what we were doing, but I wanted her assurance that when she felt like we needed to go she would tell me. Her response changed my world. She said, "Of course I will. I think it will be in the relative near future."

During the next month alot happened. Tripp spent a week with my folks (with his sibings) and his reaction to being away from us was hard. It took him nearly a month to re-bond with his daddy. It seemed that only I could do anything for him without him melting into a pile of tears on the floor. It slowly got better and he and Easy are back to their normal deal now. I had a long talk with my mom and after having a week engulfed in "Trippness" she said that she thought he would probably wear an ASD label at some point. That was hard to hear, but I trust my mom's opinion about kids after all the years she spent in education - some with an Autism unit on her campus. I processed stuff personally all month and then finally found the courage to talk with Easy. I told him that I fully expected Ginger to say it was time the next time we went in. It was a hard conversation. It was painful for both of us. In the end we decided that we would indeed go if Ginger felt it was appropriate.

Well, she did think it was time so we started the proces sof referral. It took 4 weeks to find out when our appointment is, and as I said at the beginning of this - it isn't until December. So now we are waiting. We don't know what to expect but there are a few things we know to be true:

God is good.

God made Tripp exactly the way he is.

God is good.

It doesn't matter what label our son does or doesn't need, we could never love him any less.

God is good.

Tripp brings joy to this world.

God is good.

Easy and I are united in praying for God's will in this situation.

God is good.

At the moment that is what I'm hanging on to.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Pitiful Performance

That sums up my opinion of how I did this week. I ran one day, I've eaten fast food 3 times, and I haven't had my quiet time all week. I wish I could give you an explanation, or at least rationalize it somehow, but I've got nothing really - except that I let Satan get the best of me this week I think; convincing me daily it would be better to stay in bed than to get up and meeet my Lord under the stars. My energy level has stunk it up big time. My head has been so-so this week - I took an Imitrex yesterday and I can tell I'll be taking one again before I leave for work today. I did go to the doctor about all that on Tuesday - she wants to run some blood work (which I'm doing today) and do a brain scan (CT) to be sure we rule out any other medical causes for the increase in my headaches before she puts me on any medication. I know this is a good thing - she's being thorough. It also stinks because in the meantime I wait and pray that I don't have headaches. And even though I know the brain scan is really to rule things out it's a little unnerving to know that my doctor feels a need to look at my brain - that there is even a remote possibility that some thing is wrong with my brain. Of course, after a week like this I'll just be happy to know that they actually find my brain in there and I have indeed not lost it completely!

I do have one bit of VERY good news to report - 4 years ago my cholesterol was 212. That's bad in case you don't know. After the changes I've made in lifestyle over the last several months I'm happy to report my cholesterol is now a beautiful 156! That totally made it worth going to the doctor Tuesday even though she didn't have any answers regarding my headaches. She did ask my something I thought was funny - it was about my sleep patterns. I think that I sleep better right now than I have in a long time. I don't know if that's out of sheer exhaustion or what, but I typically lay down and pass out at night instead of laying there for what used to be hours unable to turn off my brain and go to sleep. So after I gave her that answer she says, "Good, so most mornings you wake up feeling refreshed and ready to get up and start your day?" What? I kind of laughed and said, "Well, maybe twice a week I feel that way." Does anybody feel totally refreshed and ready to get up and get going everyday? Or even MOST days? I think perhaps this is one of the great ills of American culture - we simply have no appreciation for genuine rest.

I'm going to my folks house for the weekend - I always feel more rested after that. There's something about being under my parent's roof that somehow lifts a burden or reduces my stress level. Please pray that we have safe travel and that I return home rested and ready to return to the journey I'm on with renewed focus and energy.

Monday, September 17, 2007

To Know and Not Do

Easy has this saying he uses sometimes that I have always agreed with in principle. He says "To know and not do is not to know." I will admit that I don't always like it when he makes this comment as it often convicts me. My good friend Dasha has argued with him about he validity of the statement. Dasha and I went to grad school together - we have psych degrees and counseling degrees and it is really easy to fall into the belief that "knowing" a truth is a positive first step and therefore you can "know" without "doing." I think the longer Dasha works in the field the more she's agreeing with Easy's statement. I've personally always agreed with it, I just don't like it when he uses it on me. So that's some background...........

I am currently doing a study on the Book of James for Ladies' Bible Class. Foree, our preacher, is also teaching a series on Sunday nights on James. I'm thinking there is something I'm supposed to learn right now from James. Yesterday, as part of the LBC study, I read through the entire book. Chapter 4 verse 17 jumped out at me.

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
Ouch. To know and not do is not to know - it also happens to be sinful. Eeeek. I am a sinner indeed. (or rather, in lack of deed I guess) I think this ties in some with a post from a few weeks back - to know you want more from "church" but do nothing about - sin. To know your body is a Temple of God and in need of serious repair and do nothing about it - sin. I've known for some time that my obesity (which I now beleive is only in the overweight category) was sinful, but I was thinking more long the lines of gluttony - I hadn't really thought about my lack of action to remedy that current state of affairs as being sinful in itself. To know you should give financially to your church and not do it - sin. To know the Spirit is prompting you to make a phone call, stop and visit someone, reach out to a visitor, or pray for a friend and not do it - sin. To know that your spouse is in need of some extra attention, or affirmation, or physical intimacy and not do it - sin. To know that God is calling you to a ministry you feel unequiped for, scared of, skeptical about and therefore not follow His lead - SIN.
This speaks strongly to those who walk around feeling like they are doing "pretty good." You know the mantra - I don't drink, I don't smoke, I take care of my family, I tithe my earnings, I've got checkmarks in all the boxes on my list. Here's the trouble - God wants so much more from us than a checklist of chores. He wants our heart. He wants our life. He wants to call out to us and have us respond with excitement, "Yes Lord! Yes, yes, yes! Whatever it is you need me to do I will do it. Because I KNOW who you are and who I am in you I am willing to make any sacrifice and do all that you ask!" How often is that our response? Not often enough for me.
Scripture tells us over and over that God has work planned for us, that He will bless our efforts when in accordance with His will. So why do we so often hesitate? Because Satan busys us with life on this earth. We allow our focus to become work and soccer practice and PTO and housecleaning and we think we simply don't have time. Sometimes we get so busy with life on this earth that we don't make time to converse with God. If we aren't conversing with Him, how will we ever even hear what it is He has planned for us to do?
OK, my thoughts are starting to splinter so I better close this for now. As for this week - I encourage you all to listen closely to the whisper of the Spirit in your life. If you know He wants you do something, do it. And have peace and confidence that you just "passed" one of the many trials of your faith.

Friday, September 14, 2007

A Better Week

Well, it was definitely better this week. I ran three days (MTF). I am discovering how very important sleep is to me these days. I think it contributes a great deal to the headaches (lack of sleep that is). On the days I am in bed by 10:00 I have no trouble getting up to run. If I don't hit the sack until after 10:30 it's a whole other story - and if I do get up and run I usually wind up with a headache. You wouldn't think 30 minutes makes that much difference, but I guess the truth is I'm either in bed between 9:30 & 10:00 or not until after 11:00 - that's a more significant difference. So, next week I will focus on trying to get to bed at a consitent (and earlier) time.

I had a scripture jump out in a big way for me this week. It spoke strongly to me, and I have "given" it to three friends that needed it this week as well - So, I'll share it with you too!

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to perservere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Hebrews 10:35-36
Have a blessed weekend.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Where I am

is a place of frustration - I feel like my body is betraying me. No, I haven't put any pounds back on. I'm talking about pain - head pain to be exact and I'm sick and tired of having it. After that 3-day migraine I had a little while back I was very ready to talk to my OB/GYN about them when I had my yearly appointment this last Thursday. She's always treated my migraines because they are hormonally realted. After a long talk with her we decided it is time for me to see another doctor. The headaches are still hormonal, but not all of them. She's tried everything she knows to try with me over the last 5 years so I'm going to see my "regular" doctor on the 18th to see what she can do to help. I happen to know that she suffers from migraines too so I think she will be very understanding and aggressive in getting them under control. The good news from my yearly visit was all the kudos my doc gave me for the weight I've lost and the efforts I'm making to get healthy. You want the really not good part of Thursday...................

worst migraine of my life. I was literally laying on Tripp's bed in tears. I had to move from the couch to take him to the potty and we went to his room to get dry undies (he tends to pre-dribble a bit). I couldn't get up off the bed. I finally had Paris bring me the phone and called Stephanie to come help because I wasn't sure when Easy would be home and the kids were hungry and Vivie was in her playpen fussing and....well, I couldn't get myself together. I've always been able to get myself together. It was truly humbling to depend first on my 5 year old daughter to help me, and then on my sweet friend. I don't even remember seeing her face when she was here, I just know she showed up and fed my kids and helped Easy get them all squared away for bed time. I am so greateful for my girlfriends.

Needless to say, this beast of a headache kept me from running on Friday morning. (I did run on Thursday and I cut a lot of time off my last run) I am so frustrated. I don't even know what triggered this one. It wasn't hormonal. There were no storms blowing through. I didn't eat or drink anything out of the ordinary. I don't like taking medications, but at this point I am so ready to go to the doctor and have her tell me there is something I can take that will prevent this from happening again. It's time for preventative medicine - the treat it when it happens approach isn't cutting it anymore.

So, that's how my week ended up. I did purchase my book for book club this month and will start reading it this weekend. I will also be starting a study of the Book of James for Ladies' Class this week. I will probably start using that study as my morning quiet time.

Father, please help me this week as the rest of my schedule falls into place. Please keep the migraines away until I can see my doctor and then help me to understand what she says and choose the best treatment possible so these things won't continue to interfere with my daily life so much. Thank you for Stephanie who was so willing to grab her kids and head over here at a second's notice to help me. Thank you for a husband who didn't fuss or complain or even whine that I was out of comission with no notice and he was having to do stuff I normally do. Thank you for my precious daughter and for answering her prayer to make my head stop hurting that night. You are a mighty and graciouse God and I know that even though the experience was unpleasant, many lessons were taught on Thursday. Stephanie taught her boys what it is to be a friend. Paris saw first hand that you answer her prayers. I learned that my precious baby girl isn't shy about raising her hands to you and asking for what she know you will deliver. Thank you for all those lessons. I love you Lord. Amen.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Feeling Better

Well, I had a bit of an allergy attack the last few days. I'm blaming it on the people who baled hay on the corner of the street leading to my neighborhood and all the lot owners who decided to mow their acre in my neighborhood. It kept me in bed yesterday - the Reset button didn't quite get pushed I supposed. Anyway, I was up and moving this morning. I trotted myself out the back door to discover......rain. So, I did a workout viedo in the living room. I'm hoping to actually get back on the street tomorrow.

Had a great book club Monday night. I'm excited about the next book we are reading......I'll up date my current reading list later.

Anyway, just wanted to be accountable on the exercise.....hope you are all having a good day!

Monday, September 3, 2007

Reset (again)

Remember a while back when I blogged about the reset button? Well, I'm pushing it again. Last week was a tough one. There were lots of things happening. Paris started school, Tripp had an appointment with his speech therapist, I was starting my new job at church, Tripp got sick, Vivie was (is) cutting a tooth, etc... I don't know if was the stress of all that happening or what, but I only made it through mid-week before I fell off the health wagon. I did do my video workout Wednesday morning, but that was the last time I exercised! Lack of sleep Wednesday and Thursday nights kept me in bed just trying to get enough sleep to function on Thursday and Friday. My eating was so-so. The weekend was more of the same. I actually had pizza twice. My poor body wasn't quite sure what to do with that. I honestly expected the scale to show a weight gain after all that, but somehow - by the grace of God - I still managed to drop some pounds.

I intended to get things going again this morning, but with Easy home from work for the holiday I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to snuggle and snooze with my Smooch. Paris even wound up in our bed at some point so we had family snuggle time until I got up at 6:30. So, today I'm hitting the reset button again. I had a good breakfast and I'm determined to get back in the swing of things. T&V start Sonshine School tomorrow and I actually start keeping my office hours at work. Next week will be the final transition into my crazy fall schedule. We will add in keeping P&E (children of some friends at church) for 4 hours on Mondays and going to Ladies' Class on Wednesdays. I'm glad it's hitting in phases like that. I think I might not have made it if everything had started at once.

Book Club is meeting tonight at my house. I am excited to discuss The Pursuit of God with my friends. It is a very impactful book. I still have a bit to finish, so I'll get that done today. I have come away from it realizing how much more I want to know God and to spend time with Him. I realize that my logistical life makes it a challenge to find any bulk time to spend with Him on a daily basis, but I look forward to learning new ways to stay connected throughout my day and more than anything I want to learn how to and be better at teaching my children that our relationship with God is so much more than mealtime and bedtime prayers.

So, today, I solicit your prayers as I need to Reset my routine and still have two challenging weeks ahead as my fall schedule solidifies. I have no doubt in a month's time it will simply be "what we do" around here, but the transition into it is proving to be a little more challenging than I anticipated. Peace be with all of you as you are falling into your schedules as well.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Quick Update

Well, things are picking up pace. Paris started school yesterday. She's doing great, I'm doing pretty good. Tripp and Viv start Sonshine School next week. We have Open House for that on Thursday. I met Tripp's teacher today - I really liked her. I think it won't take her long to get on "Tripp's Short List." (It's a very good thing to be on Tripp's Short List) Even though I don't officially start my job at the church until the 1st, I've been working a lot. I have no doubt I will be able to clock all 10 of my hours every week.

In the midst of all that I've been jogging daily. Easy has to leave early tomorrow so I will have to try that dance workout video again. Hopefully I'll keep up better since I've been through it once now. Eating has been steady. Sunday after church we went out to lunch with my folks at Wings n More. They are doing South Beach. We all splurged and ate fried food. Lesson? All that grease left me with one upset tummy. I'm glad to say I'm just not used to eating like that anymore.

In addition to my morning quiet time I have continued reading my book for Book Club. I can take it and read while I'm in line waiting to pick up Paris. That's a whole new experience for me. I am very much enjoying the book and looking forward to discussing it next Monday....I just need to actually finish reading it before then! I better go......chore yet to do and I need to hit the sack befor eit gets too late. 5:00 AM comes EARLY when you're not naturally wired as a morning person!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Challenging Week

It has been just that. Eating has been OK. I don't keep really "bad" stuff in the house so it can't be too unhealthy, but along with PMS comes my cravings for first sweet things and then salty. I've found myself sort of raoming around my kitchen a lot this week, but all in all I think I've done alright.

Exercise has been tough with the headache and all. Monday a ran 1.25 miles. (I finally tracked it) Tuesday I bumped it to 1.5. I think I have been doing the 1.25 for over a week, so I was ready to increase. Wednesday I didn't do anything but lay in my bed and clutch my head until about 6:45. This morning Easy says I didn't even flinch when all the alarms went off - and we have 4 between the two of us! I woke up at 6:00 as he was getting dressed to leave. Good news is - I felt great. So, I got up and did a work out video in my living room before Paris got out of bed. Yea me! It was the first time I've done this particular video, so I was learning the routines - not the best workout, but definitely better than thinking it was too late and not doing anything! I am looking forward to my jog tomorrow. Next week things will get intense as school starts. Easy will have to leave the house by 6:00 and Paris will have to start getting up at 6:45 so there won't be a whole lot of wiggle room in the morning schedule. Please be praying that we can all adjust and maintain the habits we have begun forming.

I have been reading in The Pursuit of God this week. Man is there some major stuff in there! I can tell this will be a book I read over and over in my life. I'd like to share a few quotes that have impacted me this week.

"The instant cure of most of our religious ill would be to enter the Presence in spiritual experience, to become suddenly aware that we are in God and God is in us."

"...the highest love of God is not intellectual, it is spiritual. God is Spirit and only the spirit of man can know Him really."

Hmmmmmm. Now, how do I get there? How do I take my hectic, busy life and rearrange things so I have more encounters, actual spiritual experience, with God? Is it found in structured daily time - and how much time would that need? Is it something that can happen anytime, anywhere, as long as I'm "open" to know it's happening? Does the intellectual pursuit of God help or hinder the spiritual experience of Him? I'd love any input you have. I am realizing more everyday how very little I know - and more importantly, how very little I have experienced. Bottom line............I want more of God......and I'll continue my pursuit of Him until I am home with Him; praying daily that He can use me to help others while I am here, away from home.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Prayers Please

I'm asking for your prayers today. I'm on day 3 of a migraine. It has been hitting full force and then fading with medicine, but it hasn't actually gone away since Monday morning. It kept me from jogging this morning. I know that it is my "normal monthly migraine," but it is hanging on a lot longer than usual. I'm sure this is because I have some anxiety and stress in several areas of my life at the moment. I'm sure everyone of you could say the same thing, but I think I'm just a bit overloaded in the mental department. I know it will be better after Paris actually starts school, and my new job actually starts (as though I'm not already working on it), and we go see Tripp's speech therapist again,'s the anticipation of all those things that has me a little strung out. Thanks for your prayers.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Check it out!

Please take a moment to see my side bar............that's right folks, I hit the 20!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited! I was talking with a friend in the nursery yesterday morning about creating the health habit and how good you feel when you see progress. For the first time in YEARS I feel like I am truly on the right track to getting this temple in tip top shape. I finally made the commitment God prompted me to make, and as I have heard over and over again from different sources in the last few months (do you ever feel like God is practically yelling at you when you keep getting a message like that?) :

God honors commitment.
Rejoice with me today my friends. God is good. God is faithful. All honor and credit and glory is due to Him alone. Have a blessed Monday!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

A Few Thoughts

Over the last two years or so I have repeatedly come across a general feeling among some of my fellow beleivers that has been disturbing to me. It is by no means something that I think makes them bad people, or that in truth even effects their Salvation. It does, however, effect their daily walk and the relationship that God wants to have with them. Many times I have heard statements that are in truth, complaints. Things like "Why don't we have more things for the men to get toegther and bond?", "I just wish there were more opportunities for people to get to know each other, really know each other," or "We're not going anywhere, but he's just not really happy here," and the one that has really been the kicker for me, "I just don't feel like I can grow spiritually here." (this one has often been stated about one's spouse and not the individual speaking) My concern and irritation with these kind of comments as been growing and I've been thinking a lot about what they mean and what it is that our "regular" services should actually be doing for people. I had come to the conclusion that most of these statements come from two places:

1. The person who feels a desire for more connection to God and their Christian family, but who hasn't realized that is what they are looking for exactly.


2. The person (in the case of the last statement) who recognizes their desire to "grow spiritually" and feels that should be happening by simply attending church.

I think I have more empathy with person #1. I've been there. It took me a long time to get through the frustration of wanting more time with God and wanting more time to build relationships with God's people. Want to know what got me through? I started creating opportunities to spend more time with my brothers and sisters. I started plugging in to what was already available and intentionally spending time with my church family OUTSIDE of Sunday and Wednesday services. Going through that procces led me to feel the desire expressed by person #2. I had begun to truly bond with my sisters in Christ, I saw my husband begin relationships with some brothers yet I still found myself feeling like I wanted was God I needed, not just His children. That's when I started this blog. The journey over the last few months has been amazing and I look forward to the rest of my life walking daily closer to my Father.

So why does the #2 statement up there bother me so much? I guess I get frustrated because I really don't beleive the function of Sunday morning is to "grow spiritually." I don't think that really happens until you start an intentional seeking for a closer relationship with God. Yesterday as I was reading in The Pursuit of God I read the following:

How tragic that we in this dark day have had our seeking done for us by our teachers.

Nail on the head. There are so many who want someone else to do all the seeking and discerning and then just hand them the lesson on a nice little platter. Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with learning from another person's journey. I actually do beleive that's part of why God calls us to fellowship - so we can share our lessons with one another. But the truth is that learning from others, or listening to sermons, is NEVER going to replace the richness of the relationship with God that is available to us when we earnestly seek Him on our own.

I can tell you honestly that I have sought God in spurts throughout my life. In the last 6 months I have sought Him more deliberatey than ever before and the relationship I have with Him now, the way I can so clearly see Him working in me and my life, the blessing of peace that I feel daily is more than I can put into words. Brothers and sisters, God desires a relationship with YOU. And whether you have come to understand it or not, you desire a relationship with Him. It's there for you, all you have to do is pursue it. He is so happy to see you there on Sunday morning, but He has so much more He wants to share with you if you will seek Him out the rest of the week as well.

Paris has been a great example of this a basic principle for me as of late. She is in a constant state of desire to have one-on-one time with me or Easy (or even her Graggie!). It seems to not matter that I spend ALL day with the kids. It's not just being in the house with me she wants. It's not even sitting in the floor playing with everyone that she wants. What she wants is me all to herself for as long as possible - sometimes just to sit together with no one else around. I realize that is how we should be with God. That is how I've become. I am in constant need of time alone with Him. I don't always want to play with my Christian siblings. I want one-on-one time with my Father God - sometimes just to sit together. You can't get that on Sunday mornings. My hope for everyone reading this is that you recognize that a desire for God alone is the need that stirs up all those comments we here, and sometimes make ourselves, about that "state of things" wherever we worship. When I hear comments like those I hope God can use me in some way to help that person find what they are looking for. To find in themselves the truth that they are a child of God and, as it iswith all children, what they desire more than anything else is a relationship with their Father.

Just a few of my thoughts as of late..............

Monday, August 13, 2007


That's what I said about 2/3 through my run this morning. Today was the first day I took my iPod so I could run to music. I felt like my pace was significantly quicker with that added boost. Anywho - I'm headed back in the main road of our subdivision and it feels like I have a monster charley horse in my left calf. I thought for a minute that I could run through it but quickly determined that would be foolish. I stopped and rubbed it out and stretched. It hurt pretty bad so I walked the rest of the way home. I was frustrated because the run was feeling really good right up until then. Anyway, it's still sore and there's actually a bit of a lightly bruised spot so I'm thinking it may be a more than a good old camp. So, I'm taking some motrin and I'll probably just walk tomorrow and then see how I'm doing. Grrrrrrrr.

Food was so-so over the weekend. I could have done worse, but I definitely could have done better. We ate at Fuddrucker's (sp?) Saturday and I ate a burger. It's been a long time since I indulged in a pile of grease like that. I had heart burn later. I somehow convinced myself it was the right choice because it was $2 cheaper than the chicken salad I was looking at. So, I saved $2 but got heart burn and was left with the knowledge that I made a poor choice.

I've been reading that book in my sidebar about wealth. I haven't read anything earth shattering yet - just your basic God doesn't condemn wealth, he just warns us that it can be a great temptation. At this point all I've gotten from the book is the wish that he used a different version of the Bible for all his scripture references. I guess I'm a little spoiled and haven't read KJV in a LONG time. It's cumbersome.

I also startedThe Pursuit of God this morning during my quiet time. I enjoyed the part I read and felt like it gave me just enough of a taste to know this book is what I need to read right now. I am overwhelmed with the desire to live a life so led by the Spirit that it affects my every choice. I know that if I'm not seeking God out, I surely won't hear His voice (or nudge, or prompting) when He wants to lead me in a certain direction. Seems to me that if I'm constantly seeking God and His will for my life then some of the "tough choices" probably won't be so tough. I am struggling though to find enough dedicated prayer time. I pray in spurts all day when things cross my mind, but I want to have more time that is soley dedicated to prayer. I was doing this at the end of my quiet time before, but since I started getting up to jog I find myself falling asleep during prayer time. I'm hoping that once school starts I can use part of the kids naptime in the afternoon (before Paris gets home!) to spend in prayer. In the meantime I'll keep on keepin' on!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

Thick Spit

I know that sounds gross, but today it is a good thing. I actually ran far enough/long enough today that when I was done I had thick spit. Maybe you don't get that when you work out, but to me it is a sign that I was working hard and kept my heart rate up for a substantial period of time. I new digital watch is on my Wal-Mart list this week so I will soon be able to report how long I'm actually running. (I had to throw out my old watch because my precious baby girl got some, um, "stuff" on it that left a smell I could not get rid of.)

Eating is going well - I've found myself hungrier lately, but I'm sure that's because of the jogging. It's getting very easy to make good choices in this area. Even when I splurge like I did on Sunday it isn't hard to stick to my "better ways" afterwards.

Clutter control hasn't caught up to where I would like it, but I'm going to keep working on it. Yesterday a friend of mine (who has 5!! kids) came over and helped me clean and refill our pool. All the rain had turned it green so we had to drain it and start over. It was quite a workout getting it done, but we did it and I'm sure Paris will be in the pool playing ASAP!

Book club was very good Monday night. It amazes me how God can have us all on different journeys yet still find so many things in common. I cherish my BC friends and I know that my life is better becaue they are in it. This month we will be reading The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. Regardless of where we are on our journey, we all are feeling a thirst, want, desire, NEED to have more time with God. To have what Max Lucado called a "God saturated soul." We want to be more attuned to the Spirit that dwells in us. I suppose that's the core of it - different journeys, different churches, differend personalities - all wanting a closer relationship with our Father. My prayer for all of you this week is that you get up and pursue it.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Run for your Life!!!

Just kidding. I guess in a way that's what I'm doing though. I want to get this temple in shape so it can serve well the enitre time it exists on this earth. So, I suppose I am running for life. Anywho......

Consumption: I continue to do well in this area. I did have a big splurge yesterday. We had Taco Bell for lunch. I had a migraine when we left church and couldn't think straight much less prepare lunch for my family so we picked up good ol' greasy Taco Bell. The fun part was discovering that Vivian can eat the same amount of cheese quesadilla that Tripp and Paris do! I will say that the change I've made in my eating habits are begning to feel like just that - habits. Whole wheat products taste good to me. I even found myself picking all the veggies out of a dish recently - to eat them first! My how things have changed!

Exercise: Well, I started jogging in the early am last Wednesday (the 1st). WTF I got up around 5:30 and hit the street. I haven't a clue how far I went, but each day I went farther. Mostly I proved to myself that I could do it. This morning I got up at 5:15 and pushed it harder. Today was the first time I've come close to jelly legs at the end. Don't get me wrong, I've been sore since last Wednesday, but I knew I could push harder. I just don't want to hurt myeslf so I'm easing into it. My plan is to stick with 5:15 this week and roll it back to 5:00 next week. That way I'll be ready by the time school starts and Easy has to start leaving the house by 6:00. By the way, it feels good to know that as I write this I've already done my exercise!!!

Clutter Control: Well, while the kids were away at my folks for their annual "Graggie-Dadoo Vacation" I got quite a bit done. I sorted through mountains (and I mean MOUNTAINS) of clothes and got them organized. I took a bunch of stuff to the re-sale shop (not just clothes). I still have quite a bit of clothing to take there - I wanted to do it in spurts so I get a better return on it. I also took a bunch of clothes to a friend who just had her first baby girl. That was weird - I actually babysat this young lady at one time and now I'm sharing baby clothes with her. Man I'm getting old! I also moved some furniture around and reorganized/cleaned out toys in all three kids' rooms. My goal this week is to get back on my cleaning schedule so I can have a clean house again!

Spiritual Development: My book club meets tonight. We've been reading Max Lucado's Facing Your Giants. After reading my last post I'm sure you can see how well timed this was for me. I have a few chapters to finish before we meet tonight, but it has really been good. I'll share my favorite quote so far (I read it this morning - yes, I've been running AND I've read several chapters!). In reference to David's treatment of Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan:

The king is kind, not because the boy is deserving, but because the promise is enduring.

And isn't our King just that way.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


It's going to be a long post. It's a post that is long overdue.

I've had a bit of a blogging block lately. Truth is I've had lots to say, but wasn't ready to say any of it. God has been working hard on the heart of this temple. In the last few weeks I (and my husband) have had to deal with mistakes from our past in a big way. I'm struck by how long I was just going through life hiding mistakes that added up to a large black hole. The process of facing this black hole (this would be the black hole of financial debt) has brought me closer to God. It also brought Easy and I closer together.

At this point I feel no need to expound on how we got where we are. The were mistakes made. Stupid, foolish, and prideful mistakes. That's really all that matters. Since I began this blog I have known that God was bringing me to a point of reckoning on this topic. Several months ago He released me from the burden of shame regarding this sin. That's what it is you know.....sin. He also told me to confess it. I politely ignored him. (there really is nothing polite about ignoring, is there?) So, as He always does, He let me stew a while and then brought me back to it again. He came offering blessings if only I would obey. (that's how He always works you know - He wants to bless us more than we can comprehend.......if only we will obey) It has forced Easy and me to talk about things we like to avoid. God once again reminded me that my thoughts and ideas are important and should be heard, but that my husband is the head of my household. Compromises were made. Tears were shed. In the end we were left with a plan to fill in the black hole and drive on into our future. In His infinite mercy God has given us a way to get out and move on. Thank you does not do justice to the gratitude I feel.

In going through this process I frequently thought of my brother. Not that he has any debt issues, but I know that he has been through periods in his life when he had to "come clean" about something to people he loved. For the first time I truly understand some of the torture that it is to have a secret. Did I go out of my way to hide our debt? No. But it was still a secret. Was it hurting anyone? Just us. But it was still something in my life that I knew was wrong and even though the active accumulation had stopped years ago I avoided anyone finding out. It was my dirty little secret. Confessing a big goof is hard. Telling people you love the truth knowing that it will disappoint them tremendously is amazingly difficult. At one point I even found myself asking, "What good does it do to tell them if we already have it handled?" Then the song the preschoolers at church sing went prancing through my head "I'm happy to obey, I'm happy to obey. I'll come quickly when Daddy calls. I'm happy to obey." So I picked up the phone and made the call I needed to make. Easy? no Fun? clearly not. Obedient? yes.

And now I can move on in the remodeling process. God has had me dwelling in the above described room until it was complete. I'm not foolish enough to think I will never have to give the pride room an overhaul again, but for now it has been torn down and rebuilt in the likeness of Christ. I will strive to keep it that way.

In other remodeling news........I went on my trip and came home with NO weight gained. This is a big deal for me. I usually throw it all out the window on trips like this, so to come home and still be at the 15 pound lost mark makes me happy. I was also very convicted over the weekend about the struggle I've had with exercise. Several of the speakers we heard mentioned the importance of focus. One of the speakers talked about something he does called "extreme running." Talk about focus - this man runs 30 miles like it's nothing. These little tidbits along with many others left me at the end of the weekend knowing what I need to do to start my days on the right foot.

So, here's the "new plan": I'm getting up to go jogging at 5:00 AM M-F. Now, before you fall out of your chair let me say this - many of you have met me in the last 10 years. You don't know that I used to run. I would run with my dad. (Hmmmmmm, perhaps having to be honest with him about the other deal helped bring me back to this as well-------it all seems so connected sometimes) I ran some while in college. Before Easy and I got married I met some buddies and ran 3 miles 2-3 times a week. So the running part isn't really all that shocking. As for the time of day - it makes total sense to me. Even though I have the tools and ability to work out at home with the kids, I am totally distracted while trying to do it. Thing is, I don't need to try to do it.......I need to do it. At 5:00 in the morning Easy is still home and I can hit the street with no need to have half my brain thinking about the kids. I can also go run, get home, shower, and have my quiet time before the kids are awake. Like I said, it makes perfect sense to me. I got up this morning and was surprised at how easy it was to get out of bed and put on my Asics. It's been a great day today. Starting my day off with jogging - which always leads to prayer (there's something about the rhythm of my feet that leads to open communication) - fills several needs. It helps my daily schedule, it helps my body get healthier, and it gives me time to talk with God, no distractions.

So there you go - all caught up on the remodeling that's been going on in this temple. I feel confident I will be posting regularly again now that I'm renewed, refocused, and relieved. God is so amazingly good to His children. When we find ourselves at the lowest point, He simply steps in, scoops us up, dusts us off, and gives us a level path to start on again.

Father, thank you so much for your mercy and grace. Give me the strength to continue making this temple a place you are pleased to dwell in. Give me the restraint to be a better steward of all the blessings you have given me. Let me focus on you and your plan for my life. Let pride not take root in my heart. I want to live a transparent life Lord, that way people can see right through me to you. Amen.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Holding Steady

I've had a bit of a blogging block. No doubt this has something to do with my focus being split in many directions at the moment. We're going out of town for the weekend and I have no doubt I will feel able to sort of catch you all up on what God's been doing in my life. I just need a little more time to process at the moment. As far as the physical remodeling goes - I'm holding steady at the 15 pounds lost mark. Again, after the trip this weekend I plan to do what I can to propel that forward, including putting physical exercise as a higher priority than watching my soap or blabbing on the phone. I appreciate those of you who reminded me that it's jsut a decision and I'm the only one who can make it. So, enjoy your week and weekend, I'll be back to posting after my trip.

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Hep Peese

Or at least that's how Tripp says it. What I'm really trying to say is: Help Please! So here's my delimma............I'm really struggling with the exercise component of getting this temple in tip top shape. I've had some succes loosing weight with just the dietary change and taking good vitamins/supplements. Since starting this blog I've lost 12.5 pounds. It's not a lot, but it's been slow and steady and as the tortoise (sp?) knows, that wins the race. I do feel like I could pick up my pace a bit if I could get the exercise consitent and more frequent. So, I'm asking for tips, recommendation, ideas, anything...........Here's what I have to work with:

3 children (two can ride in a a stroller, 1 can ride a bike - that's how we do walking at the park)
Exerball w/ 2 videos (one abs and the other pilates)
2 aerobic workout videos
Rubber tubing to do resistance exercises and the book that explains them all

I desire to work out in some fashion M-F. I usually walk with friends on M & F, but I know that when the fall semester rolls around that will not work anymore. I will be starting a new part-time job working at church and will most likely be keeping some kids in my home on Mondays. So, I'm looking to find a routine that's consistent, but still flexible. I mean, if I dedicate Fridays to walking outdoors but wind up with a sick kid I should change that day to aerobics in the living room or something.

Really what I find happening is that the days I'm not commited to meeting my girlfriends to walk I wind up not working out at all. I get to the "rest time" part of the day and with all 3 kids squared away I find myself reading or watching the 1 soap I still keep up with (thanks to the magic of DVR), or chatting on the phone with friends.

I guess the real problem isn't finding the time or having the tools, it's finding the motivation. So maybe you guys out there in blog land can help me come up with a reward system for myself. Obviously, it can't be food. It also needs to not cost more than like a buck a week (read: it needs to be free because there is little to no wiggle room in the budget). Maybe it could be weekly dependent on working out each day. Or maybe I need to restrict something I already do like computer time or TV time until after I've done it. I don't know - I'm asking for suggestions. I think maybe a combination of restricting activities and rewarding consistency would be best, I just haven't a clue how to really set that up. So, those of you who know me well, be brave and call me out here. And those of you who don't know me well - you can call me out too. Chastisement and tips (and encouragement) are welcome at this point.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Not Dead

Hello out there! I just wanted to let you know that I'm not dead, but my interent was for about 10 days. So, here's a breif catch up. God is good. 'Nuff said.

But since I'm never good at letting a few words ays what a lot of words could..............I'm doing OK. My eating has stayed pretty good. I'm getting in more quiet times than I was. I'm still struggling with the exercise part - my walking days are allways great, but the rest of the days it seems to fall to the bottom of the list and I never get to it. Mainly, I can tell you that God is really working on me. He's providing for me. He's reminding me that I must be humble. He's also reminding me that amazing things are ahead. Thank you all for your prayers. I should get back in the groove of frequent posting now that my internet is functional again!

Friday, July 6, 2007

Treading Water

So, I'm not sinking, but I certainly don't feel like I'm making forward motion these days. This week has been as crazy as last. Swim lessons finished today so I can at least get hooked back up with my walking buddies next week and return to my "normal" structure. I think that will help some. I've been beating myself up a bit because I feel like I've been eating a lot of junk. The funny part is that what I'm now considering junk is still WAY healthier than my normal food was three months ago. Things like the yummy dessert my mom taught me how to make with sugar free fudge-pops, sf cool whip, and natural pb. Like I said, WAY healthier than cookies, but to me it now seems like junk food. I've been thinking about why the last two weeks have seemed so challenging to me and here's what I've come up with...............

I walk in circles. I think we all do actually. I think the particular circle I got caught in this time is this: I try hard to loose weight, I try programs & groups & systems, I realize I need God's help, He provides me with help, I start to do well, I think I don't need help anymore, I struggle, I regress, I try hard to lose weight.

I'm currently in the I struggle part - I think I've actually shifted my circle a bit because I've realized what is happening and am making every effort to not start over but instead go straight back to the Source of all help and all good things. I do think Satan has been captivating my thoughts lately and as scripture tells me I need to take those very thoughts captive once again. Those thoughts are for God and by letting Satan have a party in my brain I'm short-circuiting the whole system. I guess the good news is that I don't really feel like I'm having to push reset this time. Instead it's more like I've been on pause and all I have to do is push play and I can continue on the journey without having to go back to the beginning. So, how do I push play? I think I have to ask God to push it for me. Daily, on my knees, I need to ask God to be my remote control - the beautiful part is that He isn't so "remote"! My God is a very hands-on dude. Just ask my friend Kara - her example has inspired the last few weeks as she had stepped out on faith and let God truly lead her life in any direction He sees fit. I know she and her family will be blessed by her faith.

I guess that's it for now. That was probably too many mixed metaphors for one post, but that's just how my brain is working right now. If you think my thoughts are hard to read and follow, you should try living with them!

Pray for me sweet friends, I need God's strength and courage to propel me forward in more than one area of my life right now. I know all to well that if your tread water for too long you eventually get tired and start to drown. I want to swim ahead and reach the other side where I can live in joyful obedience to a Father I know has plans for me.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Walking Backwards

That's kind of how I felt this week. My schedule was all out of sorts and I never found a groove. Paris had swim lessons every morning so my regular exercise routine for the week didn't all. We've been staying up late (read: sleeping late). I didn't get enough reading done (I have like a half a book to read before our book club meets on Monday!) I guess I did OK with food. I really felt the effects of the female monthly this week. I've always known the I crave some chocolate during the pms phase, but I really craved carbs all week. I ate oatmeal almost everyday and even had a piece of bread (whole grain & sugar free!) every day with one meal or another. Lots less fruits than I had been eating. It was just a weird week. I'm humbly asking for your prayers this next week as swim lessons continue and my daily routine will continue to be less than "normal". We are also having a BBQ with a few friends on the 4th. I "politely suggested" that everyone bring health conscious sides/desserts to go with the fake fried chicken I'm making (it's baked) and all the meat Easy will be grilling. More than anything I solicit your prayers that I can put my head back in the word on a a daily basis. Just because my kids are sleeping later doesn't mean I have to. Please pray that God nudge me from my bed each morning so I can start the day off at His feet instead of hitting mine in response to the coos and cries of my children.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Weekend In Review

Well, I'm feeling convicted to post about my weekend. It was a busy one. I know I made a few choices that were less than great, but I also made some that were really good. So, here's the low-down:

Friday night was date night. This was our first date night since I've made than major nutritional changes in my diet. We went to Abuello's - our first time there. I was a little nervouse because I LOVE Mexican food - the tortillas, the cheese, the chips, the queso (that's cheese again!), the enchilada sauce, refried beans....and the list of less than healthy favorites goes on and on. So, we get seated and instead of queso, we ordered some guacamole and when we finished the guac I removed the chips from our reach. What really made me happy is that I had a hard time choosing between all the health-full options because the all sounded so good! I ended up ordering some grilled skewers (chicken & shrimp) and I substitued fresh broccoli for the mexican mashed potatoes that came with it. I got no dessert. The splurge for that meal would definitely be the chips at the beginning and the fruity adult beverage I had. (there's a story behind that - it was long overdue......if my future matches my past I won't have another drink like that for a few years!) All in all I felt I handled the evening well. Oh, and some calories got bruned. I'll leave it at that. :-) (I apologize, this is supposed to be my spiritual blog - I usually reserve comments like that for my other blog - oops.)

So then came Saturday - Paris' 5th b-day party. I think the day went fantastic! The kids had a blast and most importantly for me, I didn't eat a piece of cake or ice cream! I have to shout out for my friend Kara as well. She made the cake (which looked amazing as always!) and she didn't even take a nibble in the process - no cake crumbs, no icing. Way to go Kara! My hubby saved me late in the day. I was tired and was thinking things like, "Let's just go grab some burgers or something." Before I could say anything of the sort he suggested we bake the trout he caught on a fishing trip recently. We baked it and had it over whole grain brown & wild rice. Yum-O! I did have two pinches of cake that night, it tasted great, but was sweet enough that I didn't even want more. My how my body has changed it's preferences already!

And that brings us to today. Today is Paris' actual b-day. She's been planning all week to eat at Doubledave's. I was pleased when we walked in to see that DD's is now offering a healthier fare on "green trays" in their buffet. The crust is a honey wheat crust and they use chicken and veggies and much less cheese. Sadly, the went a bit overboard with the onions (which I don't even like on my pizza anyway) so I passed on the green tray and ate the real stuff. I didn't over eat though. My second transgression would be at dinner - I made pancakes for Paris and I ate some. I could really tell that the whole concept of "carb addiction" is real today. After eating those things I found myself really wanting a piece of her cake. Instead, we went out to the back porch and had some watermelon. We also went for a family walk this evening, so I worked in some exercise. Not my best day far as the food goes, but it was a fabulous family day. We even got to all go to worship service together. I usually work the nursery, but I took the day off today so we could all be together all day. It was wonderful.

OK, there you have it. I know I could have done a lot worse than I did, but I still own the fact that I made a few bad choices. As Easy reminded me, it's not a big deal that I "splurged," I just need to remember that this week I will probably have to face some of those cravings down again. I know with God's strength and y'all's encouragement I will get through any momentary cravng and keep this temple headed in the right direction.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Tough Week

That's what it's been. Tripp spiked a fever at VBS on Tuesday evening. He ran one all day Wednesday and has had a rash all over for two days now. Fever is gone though. That prevented me from keeping my "normal" schedule. I'm also PMS-ing which makes me very tired and very cranky. All that together makes it harder to make good choices with food! I've done well though. Wednesday night I actually had the frozen burritos in my hand when I stopped and thought about what I was doing. I put them up and stir-fryed a big bunch of veggies instead. The PMS really does make my sweet tooth scream. (and I mean SCREAM) I've been having a bowl of oatmeal sweetened with Splenda in the evenings. Today I did hit my stash - I keep some dark chocolate on hand for days like today when I'm barely hanging on to sanity and that tooth just won't shut up. I ate two little squares of the bar and put the rest back int the zip-top baggie.

Anywho........I have been reading in Beth Moore and also in the book on contenement for LBC. My quiet time this morning is what stuck with me today though. I'm in Luke 20-something. It was about the "end of days." The study guide I use prompted with a question on my personal feelings when thinking of the end of days. I thought for a minute and found that it doesn't really matter to me if it's now or not. Every day I just want to get up and do what God needs me to do that day. Some days that's all about being Mom, somtimes it's being there for a friend, sometimes it's speaking something out loud that I don't want to say but He's prompting me to anyway, sometimes it's all about being a wife, whatever the task - that's all I want to do each day. I want to follow His lead. If we are nearing the end of days I say "Woo Hoo!!! Let's go home!" If we're not, then so what - it doesn't really change what I want to do every day - simply follow His lead. I know that He will always be leading me to do things that will increase His kindgom and I'm begining to understand and beleieve that He actually has a job for me, Sarah Foster, to do.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


It's been crazy and busy and I was even without internet for a bit. We had water running in our internet cable that attaches to the big antenna on top of the house. Yes, I said water, running into an electrical system. Glad I caught it when I did and now it's all better.

Consumption: Has been going really well. I find that making good choices is easier every day. The weekend was challenging as I attended a potluck on Saturday, and had to eat at Whataburger that same night. I did pretty good though. I chose to have NO dessert at the potluck and NO bread. At dinner I ordered a grilled chicken salad, but I did bum some fries off a friend. They tasted good, but I didn't even finish all of them so I think I ate maybe a quarter of an order of medium fries.

Exercise: Last week was not so good as I was fighting off some sickness. I did walk on Friday and I walked again on yesterday. I just didn't do T-TH last week.

Clutter Control: barely keeping up

Spiritual Development: I'm back in Luke for morning quiet time. I didn't do that this morning. The whole house overslept. VBS kept us up late last night. I am reading in the Beth Moore book and am enjoying it quite a bit. I'm about to start the chapter on beleiving I am who God says I am. Knowing that is an area I really struggle with made me decide last night that it could wait for today. I had already read two chapters and thought I should wait until I was more awake to dive into that topic.

Oh - and the # on the scale is dropping!!! My clothes are beginning to fit a bit deffierently as well. Since starting this blog I have lost 10.5 pounds. Keep the prayers and support coming as I celebrate freedom from those pounds while knowing there's a good 30-40 more to go!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

An Example

I thought I would provide an example of how I'm changing my food choices to be a healthier temple.

Old Sarah

Breakfast: 2 Waffles with I Can't Beleive It's Not Butter and Brown Sugar. Probably some Bacon on the side - 4 pieces.

Lunch: Tuna salad (made with canned tuna ,mayo, & relish) sammie on white sandwich bread with at least one slice of cheese. Side of chips of some sort.

Snack: 100 calorie pack of some sort of sugary proccesed food. Or a bowl of chips. Or a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich.

Dinner: Bread of some sort, pasta dish of some kind - usually with beef and some sort of creamy or cheesy sauce or tomto sauce, maybe some salad or a side veggie that was turned into a casserole (meaning cheese, butter, or any manner of other ingredients was added)

Snack: see above snack and repeat

New Sarah

Breakfast: Meal replacement bar or shake OR an egg sramble with ham and veggies.

Snack: Whole fruit or light yogurt or handful of almonds

Lunch (this is what I had today): Salmon salad (made with salmon, light mayo, olives, relish, and slivered almonds) heaped a top one piece of whole grain bread

Snack: Whole fruit, veggie and dip (that I made from chickpeas and olives - not sure but I may have made hummus without knowing it), light yogurt, or turkey wrapped around a low-fat string cheese.

Dinner: Varies - we're still working our way through our most recent Big Cook and it was done before I made this shift. So, it's usually a small portion of whatever that entree is plus some veggies (whole raw, steamed, or sauted in EVOO) or salad.

Snack: Any of the above mentioned snacks.

Small changes with a big effect. I feel better. I have more energy. The number on the scale is smaller. My kids are making much better choices for their foods! It helps that the not so good options aren't in the house.

Hanging In........

The last two days have been OK.

Consumption has been very good. I'm surprised at how easy this eating thing is becoming. I do, however, still have to fight some cravings in the late evening - usually for waffles and something cheesy. I guess I'm still working on kicking that carb addiction. It's definitely getting better though!

I mised the last two days of exercise. Tuesday I took a nap because I'd only had 3 hours of sleep and had lost my voice so I was trying to get better. Yesterday I was trying to stop a migraine before it got bad. It didn't work.

Clutter Control has been barely basics, but I'm intending to do some catching up today as it is a designated "stay home day!"

Spiritually Development has been good. I've read in my book for LBC which I've discovered is about contenment. I've only done one chapter, so right now I'm thinking I need to read more befor I pass judgement. Some of the statements in Chapter 1 were so general and vague that I didn't really agree with them. I look forward to reading more to see how it unfolds. The Beth Moore book is fabulous and very convicting. Last night was the first night that I had to defend my commitment to no evening TV. Of course, I was defending it to a 5 year old so it was pretty simple. I just told her that it was time to turn it off and then when we got home from church I simply said no. She didn't much like that part, but she got over it when I called her Graggie and let her talk on the phone and then let her stay up late looking at/reading herlibrary books so she could see her Daddy when he got home. It is amazing to me the difference in the feel of the house when the tube is off. Much more peaceful!

I better run, Vivie is calling for her breakfast. Actually she's saying "Huuuwaaaaa. Hmmmmmmmmm. Ma ma. Huuuuuuuuuuuuh." But that really means she wants some breakfast.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Denise Rocks!

I must have looked really bad at church Sunday because I had friends offer to provide lunch and dinner for me on Monday. I am truly blessed by good friends and am happy to report that Easy will be home tonight and I don't think he'll be gone overnight again until sometime in July.

Consumption: Did pretty well here. It's always hard for me when Easy is gone. Lonliness is definitely a trigger for bad eating habits for me. Had some egg scrambled with veggies for breakfast. 1 XS, 2 cups decaf, 24oz water, 1 HEB water. Turkey sandwich & half a banana for lunch. Light cherry yougurt for snack. Then Deinse brought us dinner - she is amazing. In an effort to help me in my remodeling plans she brought me a dinner that fit the bill. She brought me an enormous salad (seriously, I think I ate 1/3 of it for dinner!) that had all the good stuff - carrots, cucumber, tomatoes, chickpeas, avocado, almonds, and the list goes on. She packed some chopped chicken (I think it was rotiserrie - yummy), extra carrots & cucumbers for the kids, some plain pasta (Paris is anti-sauce), sliced up cantalaupe (sp?) and strawberries, two light dressing options, drinks for the kids and even put in diet citrus Green Tea for me to drink! She even made these YUMMY little desserts with sugar free jello, strawberries, and light cool whip. It was a healthy feast enjoy by everyone in my house and we have left overs for lunch today. Denise - YOU ROCK!!

Exercise: 5 laps at Tanglewood Park.

Clutter Control: Just the basics today - laundry and kitchen.

Spiritual Development: Quiet time was in Psalms again. Today the study guide prompted many questions about doubt and how Satan has used it to wreak havoc in my life. He always uses it to have me doubt that God's promises actually apply to me. Then I read chapter 3 in the Beth Moore book. Holy cow. In this chapter she challenges you to spend time in prayer and let God help you determine a time period to focus on doing the following things: Raise your sheild of faith (and she gives you a physical way to do this so that you really engage you mind and spirit - it gives me goosebumps when I do it!), sanctify yourself (pray and ask God to show you what He'd like you to remove from your life), and record Godstops (times when you clearly see God's presence in a situation. I did as the book challenges and here's what God gave me - no evening TV. Turn the TV off at 6:00 pm for the night everynight. Time frame - starting Tuesday and continuing until my new gig (which I'm not quite at libertly to discuss in detail yet) starts - should be September 1. She recommends tying a blue cord of some kind around your right wrist to serve as your reminder, so if you see me wearing a blue bracelet on my right wrist you'll know what it means. It was a powerful chapter and one that literally prompted me to pray in a way I rarely do - so totally honest and "naked" and willing to do whatever it is He asks of me so that I may truly know Him and feel His presence in my daily life. It was pretty amazing. It truly is amazing what happens when you open yourself and ask the Spirit to lead you. The really amazing thing is that we have that power any and every minute of every day if we will only stop and ask and listen for the answers.

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Quick Update

Thursday and Friday were both good. Consumption remained healthy and only at times of hunger. I exercised both days - Thursday I worked out with my tubing and I walked on Friday. Clutter control was just keeping up around the house. I did have quiet time Thursday morning. Friday I did not - the bag monster got me! I did get to spend some time with one of my best friends in Houston Friday evening and that was a tremendous time of relaxing and boosting of my spirits. (Not that my spirits were low, but it was just a great visit!) We spoke of many of the changes I've been tracking here and it was so good to have support and encouragement as well as be able to share some new knowledge with them. (that book I read is effecting people everywhere I go because I can't stop talking about it!) Anyway, I just wanted to post my basics so you would all know I've been keeping up. This is weekend 2 of Easy being gone all weekend so we're hanging in. I can say that my eating has not been as good today, but I haven't eaten past full. I do ask that you pray for us as we finish this weekend on our own. Easy will be home tomorrow evening, but he will be gone overnight again Monday night. The kids are getting to that "push the limit" point since they haven't had much time with Daddy and we still have a ways to go before they get some quality time. Please pray that I can keep my cool and be a good example to them. (i.e. - not yell and scream and zone on the TV becuase I'm tired and stessed!)

Thursday, June 7, 2007

Wednesday Already?

The week is going fast! Here's how I did:

Consumption: 1 XS, 1 chocolate coconut TAMRB, 24oz water, 1 HEB water, 1 banana, 2 string cheese turkey roll-ups, handful almonds, handful cashews ,1 bowl left over linguinie a la anne. I'm kind of amazed at how not hungry I've been as I've made the effort to serisouly reduce my processed carb intake!

Exercise: 30-minute aerobic video work out. If you'd like a chuckle you should go read my other blog for a more detailed description of this experience. (link is in the sidebar)

Clutter Control: Sheet day!

Spiritual Development: Missed my morning quiet time. I did take time in the afternoon (after exercising & getting a shower - God does multiply your time when you use it for Him!) and read a chapter in Beleiving God. I also bought the book we are using for summer Ladies' Bible Class so i can get the first chapter read before class starts next week. We are using Calm My Anxious Heart by Lina Dillow.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007


Consumption: TAMRS (chocolate w/banana & pb), handful of grapes, 2/3 a cup of natural applesauce (vivie would eat it), 2 eggs scrambled w/mushrooms, olives and topped with salsa, 1 XS, 1 HEB water, 1 cup decaf coffee, 2 small helpings linguine a la anne (pasta and ham dish), some tomato-cucumber salad, hanful of cashews

Exercise: Nothing formal. My book I ordered for my xertubes came in so I will put together my plan and start the strength training part of my routine on Thursday.

Clutter Control: just the basics today.

Spiritual Development: Quiet time at 6:40-ish. Psalm 8 I think. Truth be told, it didn't make a lasting impression as I can't even remember at the moment what it was about. Started reading Beleiving God by Beth Moore for this month's book club.