If you know me well at all then you know that The Princess Bride is absolutley one of my favortie movies. I can typically quote from it without hesitation, but this morning my brain is muddled by a migraine so I will summarize instead. At some point in the film Indigo Montoya (I have no idea if that's how you spell that) speaks about going back to the beginning. When the plan has gone awry and you don't know where to go....go back to the beginning. Fezik (again - spelling?), his giant friend finds him there stumbling drunk and sets about sobering him up so they can get on with the noble mission in front of them....saving the princess from marriage to the not so nice prince.
If I'm going to be honest, and that's why I started this blog, then I need to own that today I am Indigo Montoya. No, I'm not stumbling drunk, but I have over the last 6 months reverted to some habits that are unacceptable when it comes to the care of this temple. So here's the really honest part........
Did any of you notice that the "3 pound bubble" I was in mysteriously grew to a "5 pound bubble?" Well, unless I'm going to call it a 10 pound bubble it's time to own the fact that I've put back on about 10 pounds. I have no doubts about how this happened. Mass quantities of DP and fast food and even a few candy bars! Last night Cherry Jackson talked a little about when we try to fill up with things other than God. That's what I've been doing for 6 months. I quit putting the Word in first and that left me empty. So instead of filling up on the Bread of Life I said I was too hectic and busy so I ate junk instead trying to ease the growing stress in my life.
Guess what - it didn't work. So it's time to go back to the beginning. I don't want to bore those of you who still read this with the details of my daily eating and activity, so instead I will be posting weekly as to my progress. I want to use this blog to write about the process, but I know I need to report the progress too so the details get one post a week and the process gets whatever else I write.
So, as I step back onto the path I veered off of all I ask is that you pray for me. I've said in the past few months that I need help - asked my friends to help "kick my butt into gear." But the truth is that this is between me and my Creator and only He can accomlish in me what needs to be done. So please pray that I am submissive to His work. That I see my fleshly desires for what they are and that when Satan's lies (in the form of negative thoughts/self talk regarding my worth) creep in that I call on Christ to remove them. I'm in tears as I write today friends. Not because I'm sad or upset really, but more because I'm sorry. I'm sorry that instead of going to God I chose to get "stumbling drunk." I ask for His forgiveness and I ask for yours.