I know that sounds gross, but today it is a good thing. I actually ran far enough/long enough today that when I was done I had thick spit. Maybe you don't get that when you work out, but to me it is a sign that I was working hard and kept my heart rate up for a substantial period of time. I new digital watch is on my Wal-Mart list this week so I will soon be able to report how long I'm actually running. (I had to throw out my old watch because my precious baby girl got some, um, "stuff" on it that left a smell I could not get rid of.)
Eating is going well - I've found myself hungrier lately, but I'm sure that's because of the jogging. It's getting very easy to make good choices in this area. Even when I splurge like I did on Sunday it isn't hard to stick to my "better ways" afterwards.
Clutter control hasn't caught up to where I would like it, but I'm going to keep working on it. Yesterday a friend of mine (who has 5!! kids) came over and helped me clean and refill our pool. All the rain had turned it green so we had to drain it and start over. It was quite a workout getting it done, but we did it and I'm sure Paris will be in the pool playing ASAP!
Book club was very good Monday night. It amazes me how God can have us all on different journeys yet still find so many things in common. I cherish my BC friends and I know that my life is better becaue they are in it. This month we will be reading The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. Regardless of where we are on our journey, we all are feeling a thirst, want, desire, NEED to have more time with God. To have what Max Lucado called a "God saturated soul." We want to be more attuned to the Spirit that dwells in us. I suppose that's the core of it - different journeys, different churches, differend personalities - all wanting a closer relationship with our Father. My prayer for all of you this week is that you get up and pursue it.
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
Monday, August 6, 2007
Run for your Life!!!
Just kidding. I guess in a way that's what I'm doing though. I want to get this temple in shape so it can serve well the enitre time it exists on this earth. So, I suppose I am running for life. Anywho......
Consumption: I continue to do well in this area. I did have a big splurge yesterday. We had Taco Bell for lunch. I had a migraine when we left church and couldn't think straight much less prepare lunch for my family so we picked up good ol' greasy Taco Bell. The fun part was discovering that Vivian can eat the same amount of cheese quesadilla that Tripp and Paris do! I will say that the change I've made in my eating habits are begning to feel like just that - habits. Whole wheat products taste good to me. I even found myself picking all the veggies out of a dish recently - to eat them first! My how things have changed!
Exercise: Well, I started jogging in the early am last Wednesday (the 1st). WTF I got up around 5:30 and hit the street. I haven't a clue how far I went, but each day I went farther. Mostly I proved to myself that I could do it. This morning I got up at 5:15 and pushed it harder. Today was the first time I've come close to jelly legs at the end. Don't get me wrong, I've been sore since last Wednesday, but I knew I could push harder. I just don't want to hurt myeslf so I'm easing into it. My plan is to stick with 5:15 this week and roll it back to 5:00 next week. That way I'll be ready by the time school starts and Easy has to start leaving the house by 6:00. By the way, it feels good to know that as I write this I've already done my exercise!!!
Clutter Control: Well, while the kids were away at my folks for their annual "Graggie-Dadoo Vacation" I got quite a bit done. I sorted through mountains (and I mean MOUNTAINS) of clothes and got them organized. I took a bunch of stuff to the re-sale shop (not just clothes). I still have quite a bit of clothing to take there - I wanted to do it in spurts so I get a better return on it. I also took a bunch of clothes to a friend who just had her first baby girl. That was weird - I actually babysat this young lady at one time and now I'm sharing baby clothes with her. Man I'm getting old! I also moved some furniture around and reorganized/cleaned out toys in all three kids' rooms. My goal this week is to get back on my cleaning schedule so I can have a clean house again!
Spiritual Development: My book club meets tonight. We've been reading Max Lucado's Facing Your Giants. After reading my last post I'm sure you can see how well timed this was for me. I have a few chapters to finish before we meet tonight, but it has really been good. I'll share my favorite quote so far (I read it this morning - yes, I've been running AND I've read several chapters!). In reference to David's treatment of Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan:
The king is kind, not because the boy is deserving, but because the promise is enduring.
And isn't our King just that way.
Consumption: I continue to do well in this area. I did have a big splurge yesterday. We had Taco Bell for lunch. I had a migraine when we left church and couldn't think straight much less prepare lunch for my family so we picked up good ol' greasy Taco Bell. The fun part was discovering that Vivian can eat the same amount of cheese quesadilla that Tripp and Paris do! I will say that the change I've made in my eating habits are begning to feel like just that - habits. Whole wheat products taste good to me. I even found myself picking all the veggies out of a dish recently - to eat them first! My how things have changed!
Exercise: Well, I started jogging in the early am last Wednesday (the 1st). WTF I got up around 5:30 and hit the street. I haven't a clue how far I went, but each day I went farther. Mostly I proved to myself that I could do it. This morning I got up at 5:15 and pushed it harder. Today was the first time I've come close to jelly legs at the end. Don't get me wrong, I've been sore since last Wednesday, but I knew I could push harder. I just don't want to hurt myeslf so I'm easing into it. My plan is to stick with 5:15 this week and roll it back to 5:00 next week. That way I'll be ready by the time school starts and Easy has to start leaving the house by 6:00. By the way, it feels good to know that as I write this I've already done my exercise!!!
Clutter Control: Well, while the kids were away at my folks for their annual "Graggie-Dadoo Vacation" I got quite a bit done. I sorted through mountains (and I mean MOUNTAINS) of clothes and got them organized. I took a bunch of stuff to the re-sale shop (not just clothes). I still have quite a bit of clothing to take there - I wanted to do it in spurts so I get a better return on it. I also took a bunch of clothes to a friend who just had her first baby girl. That was weird - I actually babysat this young lady at one time and now I'm sharing baby clothes with her. Man I'm getting old! I also moved some furniture around and reorganized/cleaned out toys in all three kids' rooms. My goal this week is to get back on my cleaning schedule so I can have a clean house again!
Spiritual Development: My book club meets tonight. We've been reading Max Lucado's Facing Your Giants. After reading my last post I'm sure you can see how well timed this was for me. I have a few chapters to finish before we meet tonight, but it has really been good. I'll share my favorite quote so far (I read it this morning - yes, I've been running AND I've read several chapters!). In reference to David's treatment of Mephibosheth, the son of Jonathan:
The king is kind, not because the boy is deserving, but because the promise is enduring.
And isn't our King just that way.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Long
It's going to be a long post. It's a post that is long overdue.
I've had a bit of a blogging block lately. Truth is I've had lots to say, but wasn't ready to say any of it. God has been working hard on the heart of this temple. In the last few weeks I (and my husband) have had to deal with mistakes from our past in a big way. I'm struck by how long I was just going through life hiding mistakes that added up to a large black hole. The process of facing this black hole (this would be the black hole of financial debt) has brought me closer to God. It also brought Easy and I closer together.
At this point I feel no need to expound on how we got where we are. The were mistakes made. Stupid, foolish, and prideful mistakes. That's really all that matters. Since I began this blog I have known that God was bringing me to a point of reckoning on this topic. Several months ago He released me from the burden of shame regarding this sin. That's what it is you know.....sin. He also told me to confess it. I politely ignored him. (there really is nothing polite about ignoring, is there?) So, as He always does, He let me stew a while and then brought me back to it again. He came offering blessings if only I would obey. (that's how He always works you know - He wants to bless us more than we can comprehend.......if only we will obey) It has forced Easy and me to talk about things we like to avoid. God once again reminded me that my thoughts and ideas are important and should be heard, but that my husband is the head of my household. Compromises were made. Tears were shed. In the end we were left with a plan to fill in the black hole and drive on into our future. In His infinite mercy God has given us a way to get out and move on. Thank you does not do justice to the gratitude I feel.
In going through this process I frequently thought of my brother. Not that he has any debt issues, but I know that he has been through periods in his life when he had to "come clean" about something to people he loved. For the first time I truly understand some of the torture that it is to have a secret. Did I go out of my way to hide our debt? No. But it was still a secret. Was it hurting anyone? Just us. But it was still something in my life that I knew was wrong and even though the active accumulation had stopped years ago I avoided anyone finding out. It was my dirty little secret. Confessing a big goof is hard. Telling people you love the truth knowing that it will disappoint them tremendously is amazingly difficult. At one point I even found myself asking, "What good does it do to tell them if we already have it handled?" Then the song the preschoolers at church sing went prancing through my head "I'm happy to obey, I'm happy to obey. I'll come quickly when Daddy calls. I'm happy to obey." So I picked up the phone and made the call I needed to make. Easy? no Fun? clearly not. Obedient? yes.
And now I can move on in the remodeling process. God has had me dwelling in the above described room until it was complete. I'm not foolish enough to think I will never have to give the pride room an overhaul again, but for now it has been torn down and rebuilt in the likeness of Christ. I will strive to keep it that way.
In other remodeling news........I went on my trip and came home with NO weight gained. This is a big deal for me. I usually throw it all out the window on trips like this, so to come home and still be at the 15 pound lost mark makes me happy. I was also very convicted over the weekend about the struggle I've had with exercise. Several of the speakers we heard mentioned the importance of focus. One of the speakers talked about something he does called "extreme running." Talk about focus - this man runs 30 miles like it's nothing. These little tidbits along with many others left me at the end of the weekend knowing what I need to do to start my days on the right foot.
So, here's the "new plan": I'm getting up to go jogging at 5:00 AM M-F. Now, before you fall out of your chair let me say this - many of you have met me in the last 10 years. You don't know that I used to run. I would run with my dad. (Hmmmmmm, perhaps having to be honest with him about the other deal helped bring me back to this as well-------it all seems so connected sometimes) I ran some while in college. Before Easy and I got married I met some buddies and ran 3 miles 2-3 times a week. So the running part isn't really all that shocking. As for the time of day - it makes total sense to me. Even though I have the tools and ability to work out at home with the kids, I am totally distracted while trying to do it. Thing is, I don't need to try to do it.......I need to do it. At 5:00 in the morning Easy is still home and I can hit the street with no need to have half my brain thinking about the kids. I can also go run, get home, shower, and have my quiet time before the kids are awake. Like I said, it makes perfect sense to me. I got up this morning and was surprised at how easy it was to get out of bed and put on my Asics. It's been a great day today. Starting my day off with jogging - which always leads to prayer (there's something about the rhythm of my feet that leads to open communication) - fills several needs. It helps my daily schedule, it helps my body get healthier, and it gives me time to talk with God, no distractions.
So there you go - all caught up on the remodeling that's been going on in this temple. I feel confident I will be posting regularly again now that I'm renewed, refocused, and relieved. God is so amazingly good to His children. When we find ourselves at the lowest point, He simply steps in, scoops us up, dusts us off, and gives us a level path to start on again.
Father, thank you so much for your mercy and grace. Give me the strength to continue making this temple a place you are pleased to dwell in. Give me the restraint to be a better steward of all the blessings you have given me. Let me focus on you and your plan for my life. Let pride not take root in my heart. I want to live a transparent life Lord, that way people can see right through me to you. Amen.
I've had a bit of a blogging block lately. Truth is I've had lots to say, but wasn't ready to say any of it. God has been working hard on the heart of this temple. In the last few weeks I (and my husband) have had to deal with mistakes from our past in a big way. I'm struck by how long I was just going through life hiding mistakes that added up to a large black hole. The process of facing this black hole (this would be the black hole of financial debt) has brought me closer to God. It also brought Easy and I closer together.
At this point I feel no need to expound on how we got where we are. The were mistakes made. Stupid, foolish, and prideful mistakes. That's really all that matters. Since I began this blog I have known that God was bringing me to a point of reckoning on this topic. Several months ago He released me from the burden of shame regarding this sin. That's what it is you know.....sin. He also told me to confess it. I politely ignored him. (there really is nothing polite about ignoring, is there?) So, as He always does, He let me stew a while and then brought me back to it again. He came offering blessings if only I would obey. (that's how He always works you know - He wants to bless us more than we can comprehend.......if only we will obey) It has forced Easy and me to talk about things we like to avoid. God once again reminded me that my thoughts and ideas are important and should be heard, but that my husband is the head of my household. Compromises were made. Tears were shed. In the end we were left with a plan to fill in the black hole and drive on into our future. In His infinite mercy God has given us a way to get out and move on. Thank you does not do justice to the gratitude I feel.
In going through this process I frequently thought of my brother. Not that he has any debt issues, but I know that he has been through periods in his life when he had to "come clean" about something to people he loved. For the first time I truly understand some of the torture that it is to have a secret. Did I go out of my way to hide our debt? No. But it was still a secret. Was it hurting anyone? Just us. But it was still something in my life that I knew was wrong and even though the active accumulation had stopped years ago I avoided anyone finding out. It was my dirty little secret. Confessing a big goof is hard. Telling people you love the truth knowing that it will disappoint them tremendously is amazingly difficult. At one point I even found myself asking, "What good does it do to tell them if we already have it handled?" Then the song the preschoolers at church sing went prancing through my head "I'm happy to obey, I'm happy to obey. I'll come quickly when Daddy calls. I'm happy to obey." So I picked up the phone and made the call I needed to make. Easy? no Fun? clearly not. Obedient? yes.
And now I can move on in the remodeling process. God has had me dwelling in the above described room until it was complete. I'm not foolish enough to think I will never have to give the pride room an overhaul again, but for now it has been torn down and rebuilt in the likeness of Christ. I will strive to keep it that way.
In other remodeling news........I went on my trip and came home with NO weight gained. This is a big deal for me. I usually throw it all out the window on trips like this, so to come home and still be at the 15 pound lost mark makes me happy. I was also very convicted over the weekend about the struggle I've had with exercise. Several of the speakers we heard mentioned the importance of focus. One of the speakers talked about something he does called "extreme running." Talk about focus - this man runs 30 miles like it's nothing. These little tidbits along with many others left me at the end of the weekend knowing what I need to do to start my days on the right foot.
So, here's the "new plan": I'm getting up to go jogging at 5:00 AM M-F. Now, before you fall out of your chair let me say this - many of you have met me in the last 10 years. You don't know that I used to run. I would run with my dad. (Hmmmmmm, perhaps having to be honest with him about the other deal helped bring me back to this as well-------it all seems so connected sometimes) I ran some while in college. Before Easy and I got married I met some buddies and ran 3 miles 2-3 times a week. So the running part isn't really all that shocking. As for the time of day - it makes total sense to me. Even though I have the tools and ability to work out at home with the kids, I am totally distracted while trying to do it. Thing is, I don't need to try to do it.......I need to do it. At 5:00 in the morning Easy is still home and I can hit the street with no need to have half my brain thinking about the kids. I can also go run, get home, shower, and have my quiet time before the kids are awake. Like I said, it makes perfect sense to me. I got up this morning and was surprised at how easy it was to get out of bed and put on my Asics. It's been a great day today. Starting my day off with jogging - which always leads to prayer (there's something about the rhythm of my feet that leads to open communication) - fills several needs. It helps my daily schedule, it helps my body get healthier, and it gives me time to talk with God, no distractions.
So there you go - all caught up on the remodeling that's been going on in this temple. I feel confident I will be posting regularly again now that I'm renewed, refocused, and relieved. God is so amazingly good to His children. When we find ourselves at the lowest point, He simply steps in, scoops us up, dusts us off, and gives us a level path to start on again.
Father, thank you so much for your mercy and grace. Give me the strength to continue making this temple a place you are pleased to dwell in. Give me the restraint to be a better steward of all the blessings you have given me. Let me focus on you and your plan for my life. Let pride not take root in my heart. I want to live a transparent life Lord, that way people can see right through me to you. Amen.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Holding Steady
I've had a bit of a blogging block. No doubt this has something to do with my focus being split in many directions at the moment. We're going out of town for the weekend and I have no doubt I will feel able to sort of catch you all up on what God's been doing in my life. I just need a little more time to process at the moment. As far as the physical remodeling goes - I'm holding steady at the 15 pounds lost mark. Again, after the trip this weekend I plan to do what I can to propel that forward, including putting physical exercise as a higher priority than watching my soap or blabbing on the phone. I appreciate those of you who reminded me that it's jsut a decision and I'm the only one who can make it. So, enjoy your week and weekend, I'll be back to posting after my trip.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Hep Peese
Or at least that's how Tripp says it. What I'm really trying to say is: Help Please! So here's my delimma............I'm really struggling with the exercise component of getting this temple in tip top shape. I've had some succes loosing weight with just the dietary change and taking good vitamins/supplements. Since starting this blog I've lost 12.5 pounds. It's not a lot, but it's been slow and steady and as the tortoise (sp?) knows, that wins the race. I do feel like I could pick up my pace a bit if I could get the exercise consitent and more frequent. So, I'm asking for tips, recommendation, ideas, anything...........Here's what I have to work with:
3 children (two can ride in a a stroller, 1 can ride a bike - that's how we do walking at the park)
Exerball w/ 2 videos (one abs and the other pilates)
2 aerobic workout videos
Rubber tubing to do resistance exercises and the book that explains them all
I desire to work out in some fashion M-F. I usually walk with friends on M & F, but I know that when the fall semester rolls around that will not work anymore. I will be starting a new part-time job working at church and will most likely be keeping some kids in my home on Mondays. So, I'm looking to find a routine that's consistent, but still flexible. I mean, if I dedicate Fridays to walking outdoors but wind up with a sick kid I should change that day to aerobics in the living room or something.
Really what I find happening is that the days I'm not commited to meeting my girlfriends to walk I wind up not working out at all. I get to the "rest time" part of the day and with all 3 kids squared away I find myself reading or watching the 1 soap I still keep up with (thanks to the magic of DVR), or chatting on the phone with friends.
I guess the real problem isn't finding the time or having the tools, it's finding the motivation. So maybe you guys out there in blog land can help me come up with a reward system for myself. Obviously, it can't be food. It also needs to not cost more than like a buck a week (read: it needs to be free because there is little to no wiggle room in the budget). Maybe it could be weekly dependent on working out each day. Or maybe I need to restrict something I already do like computer time or TV time until after I've done it. I don't know - I'm asking for suggestions. I think maybe a combination of restricting activities and rewarding consistency would be best, I just haven't a clue how to really set that up. So, those of you who know me well, be brave and call me out here. And those of you who don't know me well - you can call me out too. Chastisement and tips (and encouragement) are welcome at this point.
3 children (two can ride in a a stroller, 1 can ride a bike - that's how we do walking at the park)
Exerball w/ 2 videos (one abs and the other pilates)
2 aerobic workout videos
Rubber tubing to do resistance exercises and the book that explains them all
I desire to work out in some fashion M-F. I usually walk with friends on M & F, but I know that when the fall semester rolls around that will not work anymore. I will be starting a new part-time job working at church and will most likely be keeping some kids in my home on Mondays. So, I'm looking to find a routine that's consistent, but still flexible. I mean, if I dedicate Fridays to walking outdoors but wind up with a sick kid I should change that day to aerobics in the living room or something.
Really what I find happening is that the days I'm not commited to meeting my girlfriends to walk I wind up not working out at all. I get to the "rest time" part of the day and with all 3 kids squared away I find myself reading or watching the 1 soap I still keep up with (thanks to the magic of DVR), or chatting on the phone with friends.
I guess the real problem isn't finding the time or having the tools, it's finding the motivation. So maybe you guys out there in blog land can help me come up with a reward system for myself. Obviously, it can't be food. It also needs to not cost more than like a buck a week (read: it needs to be free because there is little to no wiggle room in the budget). Maybe it could be weekly dependent on working out each day. Or maybe I need to restrict something I already do like computer time or TV time until after I've done it. I don't know - I'm asking for suggestions. I think maybe a combination of restricting activities and rewarding consistency would be best, I just haven't a clue how to really set that up. So, those of you who know me well, be brave and call me out here. And those of you who don't know me well - you can call me out too. Chastisement and tips (and encouragement) are welcome at this point.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Not Dead
Hello out there! I just wanted to let you know that I'm not dead, but my interent was for about 10 days. So, here's a breif catch up. God is good. 'Nuff said.
But since I'm never good at letting a few words ays what a lot of words could..............I'm doing OK. My eating has stayed pretty good. I'm getting in more quiet times than I was. I'm still struggling with the exercise part - my walking days are allways great, but the rest of the days it seems to fall to the bottom of the list and I never get to it. Mainly, I can tell you that God is really working on me. He's providing for me. He's reminding me that I must be humble. He's also reminding me that amazing things are ahead. Thank you all for your prayers. I should get back in the groove of frequent posting now that my internet is functional again!
But since I'm never good at letting a few words ays what a lot of words could..............I'm doing OK. My eating has stayed pretty good. I'm getting in more quiet times than I was. I'm still struggling with the exercise part - my walking days are allways great, but the rest of the days it seems to fall to the bottom of the list and I never get to it. Mainly, I can tell you that God is really working on me. He's providing for me. He's reminding me that I must be humble. He's also reminding me that amazing things are ahead. Thank you all for your prayers. I should get back in the groove of frequent posting now that my internet is functional again!
Friday, July 6, 2007
Treading Water
So, I'm not sinking, but I certainly don't feel like I'm making forward motion these days. This week has been as crazy as last. Swim lessons finished today so I can at least get hooked back up with my walking buddies next week and return to my "normal" structure. I think that will help some. I've been beating myself up a bit because I feel like I've been eating a lot of junk. The funny part is that what I'm now considering junk is still WAY healthier than my normal food was three months ago. Things like the yummy dessert my mom taught me how to make with sugar free fudge-pops, sf cool whip, and natural pb. Like I said, WAY healthier than cookies, but to me it now seems like junk food. I've been thinking about why the last two weeks have seemed so challenging to me and here's what I've come up with...............
I walk in circles. I think we all do actually. I think the particular circle I got caught in this time is this: I try hard to loose weight, I try programs & groups & systems, I realize I need God's help, He provides me with help, I start to do well, I think I don't need help anymore, I struggle, I regress, I try hard to lose weight.
I'm currently in the I struggle part - I think I've actually shifted my circle a bit because I've realized what is happening and am making every effort to not start over but instead go straight back to the Source of all help and all good things. I do think Satan has been captivating my thoughts lately and as scripture tells me I need to take those very thoughts captive once again. Those thoughts are for God and by letting Satan have a party in my brain I'm short-circuiting the whole system. I guess the good news is that I don't really feel like I'm having to push reset this time. Instead it's more like I've been on pause and all I have to do is push play and I can continue on the journey without having to go back to the beginning. So, how do I push play? I think I have to ask God to push it for me. Daily, on my knees, I need to ask God to be my remote control - the beautiful part is that He isn't so "remote"! My God is a very hands-on dude. Just ask my friend Kara - her example has inspired the last few weeks as she had stepped out on faith and let God truly lead her life in any direction He sees fit. I know she and her family will be blessed by her faith.
I guess that's it for now. That was probably too many mixed metaphors for one post, but that's just how my brain is working right now. If you think my thoughts are hard to read and follow, you should try living with them!
Pray for me sweet friends, I need God's strength and courage to propel me forward in more than one area of my life right now. I know all to well that if your tread water for too long you eventually get tired and start to drown. I want to swim ahead and reach the other side where I can live in joyful obedience to a Father I know has plans for me.
I walk in circles. I think we all do actually. I think the particular circle I got caught in this time is this: I try hard to loose weight, I try programs & groups & systems, I realize I need God's help, He provides me with help, I start to do well, I think I don't need help anymore, I struggle, I regress, I try hard to lose weight.
I'm currently in the I struggle part - I think I've actually shifted my circle a bit because I've realized what is happening and am making every effort to not start over but instead go straight back to the Source of all help and all good things. I do think Satan has been captivating my thoughts lately and as scripture tells me I need to take those very thoughts captive once again. Those thoughts are for God and by letting Satan have a party in my brain I'm short-circuiting the whole system. I guess the good news is that I don't really feel like I'm having to push reset this time. Instead it's more like I've been on pause and all I have to do is push play and I can continue on the journey without having to go back to the beginning. So, how do I push play? I think I have to ask God to push it for me. Daily, on my knees, I need to ask God to be my remote control - the beautiful part is that He isn't so "remote"! My God is a very hands-on dude. Just ask my friend Kara - her example has inspired the last few weeks as she had stepped out on faith and let God truly lead her life in any direction He sees fit. I know she and her family will be blessed by her faith.
I guess that's it for now. That was probably too many mixed metaphors for one post, but that's just how my brain is working right now. If you think my thoughts are hard to read and follow, you should try living with them!
Pray for me sweet friends, I need God's strength and courage to propel me forward in more than one area of my life right now. I know all to well that if your tread water for too long you eventually get tired and start to drown. I want to swim ahead and reach the other side where I can live in joyful obedience to a Father I know has plans for me.
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